This New Zealand Man Playing Doom Metal Riffs For A Crowd Of Curious Cows Is A Work Of Art

The philosopher John Gray wrote extensively about “unmixed blessings” — those rare pleasures in life that are good and only good. As far as I am concerned, this story is about two such pleasures: cows, and doom metal.

Let’s talk about cows first. Cows are beautiful. They are kind, gentle, loping fools, and I love to watch them do pretty much anything. If you’ve ever been in the vicinity of a cow, you know that one of the easiest ways to smooth your heart rate is to stare one right in the eyes, and feel the cloud of calm that descends upon you.

Doom metal is a different kind of pleasure, certainly. Doom is often not calming. It is a series of titanic, brutal riffs that often combine into some blackened, horrifying crescendo. Doom is meant to feel like music to score the apocalypse.

So yes, I admit that the combination of doom and cows seems unlikely. But hey, just as peanut butter and chocolate shouldn’t work together but do, so too apparently do herds of cattle and sub-Sleep riffs compliment one another perfectly. The proof? This video of a New Zealand man playing stoner metal for his cows.

I don’t really want to ruin any of the surprises of the video, so I might just leave it at that. But please, take a few short minutes out of your day, and bask in this wonderful, bovine glory.