TV

We Regret To Inform You That Steve From ‘Stranger Things’ Might Have To Shave His Hair

Is the entire world Upside Down?

by Patrick Lenton  17 December 2017
Stranger Things

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Stranger Things actor Joe Keery has appalled fans around the world by saying that he will shave off his gorgeous mane if his co-star David Harbour wins a Golden Globe.

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Harbour, who plays the gruff but good-natured police chief Jim Hopper, is up for a Golden Globe in the Best Supporting Actor category, which is absolutely deserved. But, in what we can only assume is misguided enthusiasm for his co-star’s success, Keery announced via a comment on Harbour’s Instagram that if his wins, he will let Stranger Things creators, the Duffer Brothers, shear his beautiful head.

I’ve never actively rooted against a good man’s happiness this much before.

The issue is not just that Joe Keery has some lovely hair. It’s that his character, fan-favourite Steve Harrington, is defined by that luscious bouffant. His massive mop is a representation of his character, like Eleven’s ability to float waffles around or Joyce’s bold interior decorating skills. His hair is also literally a plot point, his styling skills manifesting in a cute grooming scene in the most recent season between him and Dustin.

This is a Samson and Delilah style issue, one that could shake the Stranger Things universe to its very core.

Of course there’s a good chance that with Stranger Things season three now in the works, Keery will be contractually obliged to maintain his hair halo, rendering his thoughtless boast empty. But then again, we can never be sure when someone might get the Thor: Ragnarok treatment, and a dramatic trim could easily be written into the story.

Truly, a world without Steve’s hair would be the actual Upside Down.