Someone Keeps Shitting On The Floor In South Australian Parliament

The greatest mystery in Australian political history.

South Australia's Parliament poo

Someone is making an awful mess in South Australia’s Parliament. And for once I’m not talking about the government.

According to the ABC, staff and MPs received a strongly worded email about the state of the men’s toilets in the building, which have apparently been “significantly soiled” on a number of occasions during recent sitting weeks.

The email was sent by South Australia’s Joint Parliamentary Service Committee secretary Rick Crump, who chastised the mysterious poo bandit (or poo bandits) for “the blatant disregard for and lack of respect shown to the other occupants of the building, especially the hard-working building services staff”.

Crump also pointed out that the toilets are “often used by members of the public and guests of the Parliament” and that “to encounter an environment like that surely leaves a very distasteful and lasting impression of the institution”. As if people’s impression of politicians could get any worse.

“Staff have taken it upon themselves to monitor the state of the toilets and while they may be willing to confront the culprit the best possible outcome would be simply for the practice to cease,” he added.

Government MP Tim Whetstone told the ABC that the perpetrator will be found and “dealt with accordingly”.

“It’s not the poop. It’s the mystery… behind the poop.”

Feature image via Parliament of South Australia