Culture

Someone Predicted Hiddleswift Two Years Ago With 58,000 Words Of Erotic Fan Fiction

How did they know?!

In what is easily the most exciting news of 2016, The Sun is reporting that Taylor Swift has kicked off a budding romance with actor Tom Hiddleston (aka Loki from Thor). Swift dumped electronic music megastar Calvin Harris two weeks ago, and if you’re wondering how he’s dealing with the news… not well, as it turns out. Harris has reportedly unfollowed Swift on both Instagram and Twitter, as well as blocking fan accounts that have posted pictures of the new couple.

The Sun front page

What a headline.

It’s fair to say that no one really saw Hiddleswift coming. Except one person. One person who wrote 58,000 words of saucy, in your face erotic fan fiction featuring Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston between 2014 and 2015.

Back in November 2014, Archive Of Our Own user jenniiichristine dropped the first part of her Wildest Dreams series: a two-part work of erotica based on a fictional romance between Swift and Hiddleston. The full series is officially novel length, clocking in at just under 60,000 words.

But look, everyone writes fan fic right? There’s so many hypothetical couples out there in fan fic land it’s not that surprising that someone had a crack at developing a relationship between Taylor and Tom. The really, really, weird part is that jenniiichristine predicted the exact event where the pair first fell in love.

According to The Sun, the pair “had an instant spark after dancing during the Met Gala” in New York. In Wildest Dreams the pair meet at… the Met Gala. In the fan fic, the pair meet at the Gala, share their appreciation for Chinese art and then share a ride back to Taylor’s place. After a bit more flirting, things get real.

“My back arched in return, my eyes closing as my grip on the sheets and his hair tightened impossibly more. I sucked in a sharp breath before moaning, ‘Thomas–‘ I let out that same breath, barely able to glance down to see him soaking in the reaction he was getting out of me.”

After a few thousand words detailing their sexcapades, we find out that this wasn’t just a one night stand, but the first step in a “blossoming relationship”, that is detailed in another 46,000 word follow up.

All up jenniiichristine (or Nostradamus as we will now call her) wrote five pieces on Hiddleswift between November 2014 and June 2016, 18 months before news of Swift and Hiddleston’s real relationship first broke. While most of the pieces are written from Swift’s perspective, occasionally we get a glimpse of the relationship from the perspective of Hiddleston and the complexities of scheduling dates while trying to shoot Thor 3.

In a piece published in June last year, we get an even more fantastical treatment of the then-fictional relationship. In a 40,000 word piece called Tables TurnSwift is a CIA spy who encounters Hiddleston, an operative for British intelligence services, while on a mission. The two kill numerous bad guys, torture the CEO of The Guardian and have lots of sex. I highly recommend giving it a read.

‘”Her name is Taylor Swift. She’s the go-to spy for the CIA. Has the most confirmed kills with 113. She’s ruthless, Tom. Why are you after her?” 

I can hear the curiosity in his voice. I’m not sure if I should tell him.

I suck in a breath and exhale slowly. “She tapped into the Prime Minister’s phone, Jake. I’ve been assigned to hunt her down.”

He’s silent.

“…and kill her.”

The most recent piece, published last week, suggests that the relationship between Swift and Harris broke down immediately after the latest Met Gala.

I’ve scoured all jeniichristine’s other articles hunting for more clues to the future. Does Donald Trump become President? Does Kanye ever stop changing The Life of Pablo? Does Kanye become President? Does Malcolm Turnbull become cool again?

Alas, no answers to these important questions have yet been found.

You have read all of jenniiichristine’s erotic Hiddleswift fan fiction here. If you do find any other important signs about what the future holds please let us know.