Music

If Social Distancing Has Ruined Your Sex Life, This Song Is For You

Your guide to getting down in the lockdown.

QANDA: Bridie Connell sings about love in the time of COVID-19

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Monday’s QANDA might’ve been one of the show’s least frustrating in a long time, as the all-medical professional panel provided clear, concise answers about COVID-19. And then, to lighten the tone, comedian Bridie Connell wrapped things up with a song about love and sex in the time of COVID-19.

It’s a hard time for dating: the official line is that sexual encounters and kissing with anyone beyond your household isn’t recommended, which uh, means we could all be heading into a serious dry-spell. And where the home-bound and horny are beginning to see their vegan butter as sexy, Connell is here to spread the message that social distancing can still be sexy.

“I said I wanted to get you alone, but not this way,” she sings over a jazz-y piano line. “Maybe this is our chance to really get connected, via WiFi and devices that have been thoroughly disinfected.”

Still, there are a few issues: the buffering and the NBN are getting in the way, but Connell’s still keen to “arma-getting-it-on” and “get down in the lockdown”.

She also calls out supporting your independent grocer, which she admits isn’t that relevant to the sexy song but remains important. Finally, she tries to start a call-and-response, but things don’t really work too well, given there’s no live audience.

“Okay, everybody! When I say ‘wash’ you say your ‘hands’! Was-oh yeah, no public gatherings,” she says, remaining ever the professional and pushing through.

Watch the sketch below.