Politics

The Snag That Stopped A Nation: A Brief Guide To Malcolm Turnbull’s Career Ending Blunder

Who turns down a sausage?!

by Tom Clift  4 April 2017

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When you look back at history, at how great empires and political dynasties collapsed, it can often to traced to a single, ill-fated moment. For Napoleon, it was the push east into Russia. For Nixon, it was the bugging of the Watergate Hotel. And for Malcolm Turnbull, the soon to be former Prime Minister of Australia, it was when he turned down the offer of a sausage sandwich.

SausageGate exploded in the national consciousness yesterday afternoon after footage emerged of Turnbull visiting Lismore in northern New South Wales. The town has been hit hard by flooding in the wake of Cyclone Debbie, and the Prime Minister was there to pledge his “enormous support” to residents and business owners.

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But actions, as we all know, speak louder than words. And in this case, what the PM’s actions appear to be saying is “please never elect me again, ever.”

In a moment that will leave political strategists scratching their heads for decades, Turnbull was stumping for reporters when he found himself face to face with an elderly volunteer from the Country Women’s Association. The very friendly local offered the PM a hot snag fresh from the barbie.

Honestly, it’s hard to think of an image that better captures the generosity and lack of pretension that Australian’s pride themselves on. It was literally the perfect photo opp.

And somehow, Turnbull messed it up.


Malcolm, it’s not hard. Just eat the goddamn sausage, okay mate? Firstly, sausages are delicious. Secondly, to say that you’re “running around a bit too much to be eating that” makes no sense, because sausages in bread are designed to be eaten while you’re on the move. There’s no waste and no cutlery needed. That’s what makes them so bloody good.

Thirdly, surely you understand that one of the (many) reasons you’re so unpopular is that people think you’re out of touch with the common man. Your critics call you “Mr Harbourside Mansion”. This was your chance to seem like a regular person. But no. You may as well have taken a Tim Tam and crushed it under the heels of your $2000 Italian leather shoes.

Say what you will about Turnbull’s predecessor, but Tony Abbott understood that when someone hands you food, you eat it.

Okay fine, bad example.

Naturally, the moment the internet got wind of Turnbull’s faux pas, his sausages were well and truly cooked.

The gaffe captured the imagination of media commentators as well, with Peta Credlin bringing the hammer down in an appearance on The Andrew Bolt Fair and Balanced No PC Malarky Down with 18C Variety Hour.

“These are the things, at six o’clock, when you’re putting the kids through the bath, when you’re trying to put dinner on the table, when you’re driving home in traffic  and talkback radio are talking about these things, this is what [people] remember,” said Credlin. “That cuts through.”

At this point Turnbull may as well just call Bill Shorten and figure out a convenient time to hand over the keys to his office.

Oh wait, never mind.