‘Sharknado 2’ Taught Me Valuable Life Lessons That I Am Here To Share With You

It's basically Oprah.

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Sometimes we watch a movie and it transforms our lives in small but subtle ways.  It opens up the gamut of human emotion, stretches our thinking, challenges our perceptions and stays with us, a cherished memory.

The Shawshank Redemption. To Kill a Mockingbird. Schindler’s List. The English Patient. It’s A Wonderful Life.

Sharknado.  Sharknado 2.

The Sharknado movies are a tender exploration of the possibility of second chances and the pitching of the human experience against the unpredictability of nature — or a wrecking ball crashing against the foundations of credibility — but with wisdom so profound Confucius could have uttered it.

Sharknado and its sequel don’t even need to jump the shark.  They surf those babies all the way from challenge to redemption, giving you unlikely heroes, a suitable amount of collateral damage and a stirring of emotions not felt since Billy Ray Cyrus broke hearts rather than mended them.

The first lesson was in the dramatic wrinkling of the brow of the hero Finn (I like what they did there) and his determined push to overcome obstacles, confounding his opponents by his sameness of expression and his complete lack of surprise that life can throw you a tornado of sharks. Because life.

And I saw that nobody will judge you no matter who throw to the sharks in your scramble for supremacy.  You will emerge bloodied but victorious.

Even if you leave your ex-boyfriend, drivers on the motorway, assorted baseball fans and the odd friend dead in your wake, nobody cares.  It’s reassuring.

The second lesson is cunningly hidden in the tornadoes. It doesn’t matter where you go in life – the storms with those niggly little sharks and their cavernous appetites will follow you.  You need to turn and face them, blow them out of the sky with bombs and as they fall around you ensure you carve them up with the chainsaw you always carry on your person, or New York’s handy pitchfork collection.

Your true love will be waiting for you at the other side of your battle.  True love always conquers.  Mainly because she spent most of the time faffing around getting cosmetic surgery when you were most challenged, but overlook that.  You have gotten the girl and, well, pitchforks.  Who knew that fishing could be so suburban?

The gentle and most beloved of life’s lessons is that everybody deserves second chances. Whether you are a washed up old man looking for another shot at the limelight, an ex-wife, an actress with wonky boobs and a perfume to flog or a B-grade movie that features shark-laden tornadoes – there will always be another chance.

Those second chances come from people who even as they mock you, will remember you.  You stand out. You are making a difference. You are making people smile.

So as the world collectively digests the phenomenon that is Sharknado and Sharknado 2, I am reassured that the world is as it should be. I can live a life that lacks any credibility, a city girl can never have too many pitchforks and that no matter what blood is shed, I will be given a second chance to let my light shine.