Beloved boutique bash Secret Garden Festival has just unveiled their 2018 line-up and boy, it’s a good ‘un.

The festival has locked in performances from Alex The Astronaut, Ecca Vandal, guitar slingers DZ Deathrays, Holy Holy, Brisbane rapper Miss Blanks, ‘1993’ hitmaker Paces, LANKS, punk crew Boat Show, and mates WAAX.

Then there’s Unearthed Artist Of The Year Stella Donnelly, Mowgli May, house selector Simon Caldwell, The Harpoons, Wollongong metalhead crew Totally Unicorn, and so, so many more. Wrap your eyes around the full line-up below.

Of course, there’s a lot more going on than just tunes. If you’re single, you can head along to the Mystery Bachelor & Bachelorette to find your festival love — or maybe just go to the Kissing Booth and have a pash with a random. If you don’t want to neck anyone, you could also just do Disney Karaoke, or perhaps go listen to some erotica at Porno Story Time.

Secret Garden Festival runs over the weekend of February 23 and 24 at a location outside Sydney. It kicks off on Friday with its annual dress up party — this year’s theme is ‘Year 10 Formal’, to appropriately celebrate the festival’s 10th birthday.

If you’re contemplating making the trip, we have some bad news for you: tickets sold out months ago.

Secret Garden 2018 Line-Up

(In alphabetical order)

Alex The Astronaut
Angie McMahon
Billy Davis & The Good Lords
Boat Show
Bris 182
Broadway Sounds
DZ Deathrays
Ecca Vandal
The Harpoons
Heaps Gay & Friends
Holy Holy
Lanks
Mezko
Miss Blanks
Odette
Paces
Vaudeville Smash
WAAX
Aaron Manhattan
Andee Frost
Beau Kirq
Betty Grumble
Chrissy
Estée Louder
GAFF E
Joe Pol
Lauren Hansom
Megana Holiday
Matt Format
Mirã Bõru
Radha La Bia
Simon Caldwell
Stelly Gappasauress
Sveta
Vibe Positive
Aegean Sun
Dom Alessio & Friends
Dream Rimmy
Eilish Gilligan
Exhibitionist
Froyo Gusher DJs
Inner West
Reggae Disco Machine
JEFFE
Ojikae
Rich-Spanning- Time
Stella Donnelly
The Tarantinos
Totally Unicorn
Dinosaur City ft. Babey
Big White
Fritz
Opal
Phanosland
Spike Vincent
Sunscreen
Sweater Curse
Ayebatonye
Catlyf
Ebony Boadu
Fire Dancers
G Coo
Isa (aka Pop Rocks)
Jade Le Flay
Jade Zoe King IV (Live)
Lupa Howl and The Shewolves
Manic Pixie
Matka
Mowgli May
Seduna
Yemisul
Clarissa Mei
Cressy
Doris
GC OConnor
Godtet The Goods
Keep It Disco
KRYSTEL Diola
Lex Deluxe
Love Deluxe
Maja Bajy
Natalia
The Pleasure of Gwen
Price
Rebecca Hatch
Rydeen
Sidehustle
Wallace
Adi Toohey
Andy Garvey
Big Ting Recordings
Bubble Babies
DJ Meta Etcetera
E Davd (Live)
Jasmine Peters
Katia Avorodis
Lazy Susan
Oscar Mike
Slamb
Spiderdog
Swerve
Whipper Sisters

plus…

(In A) State Theatre

Awards Ceremony
Brendan De La Hay
Confetti Gun
Disney Karaoke
Dolly Magazine (Live)
Genitals of the Animal Kingdom
Good Morning Secret Garden
Is This Your Life?!
Jazz Therapy
Karlee Tiana
Lou P Scarlett
Nude For Jesus Dance Party
Porcelain Alice
Post-ITS
quad bike
Reverse Burlesque – The Damsels De-Stress
Ring! The! Bell!
Rosie Rivette
Steph Broadbridge
Mystery Bachelor Or Bachelorette

The Great Fatsby

Sit down banquet (tix avail)
SG feasting Hall
French Champagne
Good Beer
Pimms
Espresso Martinis and The Usual Delights

Tomfoolery & Shenanigans

The Applause Audience
Ghost-E- OKE
Witch Dr
Aluminium Hat Making Classes (And Parade)
Corn Hole • Hot Wing Eating Comp
Porno Story Time
Formal Photos
The Kissing Booth
Wheel-Of- Fortuuuune
Trojan Party Horse
Doyle’s Farmhouse
Pub Trivia
Pre’s & Afters at Bec’s
Rancho Relaxo
Rave Cave
Shout Something
Nice Bar
Sound of Silence
Tentacruel Cinema
Village Wisdom
Speed Mating

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Photo via Sam Venn/Secret Garden Festival