News

Some Legend Made Scott Morrison A Brutally Honest LinkedIn Profile

"With the election in full swing, I've been gaslighting harder than late 19th century London."

Scott Morrison LinkedIn

Want more Junkee in your life? Sign up to our newsletter, and follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook so you always know where to find us.

Someone has made a LinkedIn account for Scott Morrison, highlighting his *cough* finest *cough* career achievements as Prime Minister ahead of the federal election.

Honest Scotty PM hikes up the puns in a satirical look-back at the lengthy career and CV of the ‘Coal-ition Prime Spinister’- with notable mentions of his time as ‘Treasure Hoarder’, as well as his Social Services and Border Protection portfolios where he “helped boatloads of poor Aussies stay poor” and “kept the boats out”.

“With the election in full swing, I’ve been gaslighting harder than late 19th century London,” the mystery digital assailant wrote in Scotty’s bio. “All my lies and spin got me feeling a little dizzy. But then I realised — I don’t need spin to win.”

“Botched vaccine rollout? I keep rolling! Australia’s burning? I’m busy sunburning? Culture of misogyny and harassment in Canberra? Soz! Also, check out this curry I made.”

Listing his impeccable ability to bounce back blunder after blunder, they went on to say that Scotty isn’t even sweating it because “if God wanted me to fail, I wouldn’t keep failing upward!”

His education listings include Sunday School and eye-opening chats with Jenny, while his skills boast backstabbing, handshaking (unsolicited), and ukelele (beginner). Naturally, Scotty’s interests include News Corp and McDonald’s, while his accolades boast #1 Boat Stopper and a notable certificate of participation for the COP 26 Climate Summit.

It’s been a tough run for the Coalition leader on the campaign trail this week — he got snapped on his phone during the ANZAC Day dawn service, then got snapped in front of a covered sign that read ‘if you mess up, fess up’, off the back of him calling a reporter “Mr Speaker” repeatedly the week prior.

Currently, the latest Newspoll results show 53-47 lead towards Labor for the second week in a row. But as identified by old mate Honest Scotty PMĀ “win or lose this election, I’ll honestly be fine. Go Sharks!” You can endorse a skill or send him a connection request here.