This Creepy Deleted Natalie Portman SNL Sketch Is The Funniest Thing They’ve Ever Done

"'My Little Stepchildren' are the perfect dolls for creepy kids with no maternal instinct."

Saturday Night Live

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Natalie Portman hosted Saturday Night Live recently and had a pretty great episode — but weirdly, a sketch that was bumped due to a lack of time is getting a lot of attention, and may actually be funnier than the portions of the show that did make it to air. Live television can be wacky!

It’s called ‘My Little Stepchildren’ and it’s a perfectly dark, twisted ad that spruiks dolls for “kids that live for the drama”. Most kids love dolls, says the ad, but not all kids want to be a mother, so My Little Stepchildren allows children to play the role of the wicked step mummy instead. It’s full of perfect lines that utilise the easily digested form of a television ad, and play with the tropes of wicked step mothers throughout pop-culture.

“Every ‘My Little Step Child’ comes with a tiny cardboard birth certificate kids can lock inside an ornate chest of drawers” it says. “Then they can pretend to avoid questions about the doll’s birth mother.”

Just go watch it now:

The sketch works perfectly not just because of the brilliant writing and clever presentation, but because Natalie Portman excellently commits to her role as a TV mum, and the tiny girl in the ad is brilliantly creepy.

“Ah yes, so beautiful… ” says the child actress, stroking her doll. “But for how long?”

The sketch was written by the hilarious Julio Torres, and could be seen as a companion piece to his other excellent sketch “Wells for Boys” which aired in 2016 on SNL. It seems to be everyone’s favourite hobby to armchair critic Saturday Night Live, but it seems that Torres is doing some of the most innovative stuff for the show, especially considering TWO of the sketches that actually went to air in Portman’s episode culminated in fart jokes.

Another highlight of Natalie Portman’s episode is her excellent reprise of her famous Natalie Portman rap with Lonely Island: