‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Recap: Triple Tits? I Haven’t Heard That Name In Years
The devil works hard, but RuPaul's twink music producers work harder.
The devil works hard, but RuPaul’s twink music producers work harder. Another year, another bop! Miss Katy Perry could never!
Listening back to Drag Race‘s remixes of Ru’s songs, ‘Queens Everywhere’ might be one of the best of the Garageband bunch. Forcing the queens to sing is oft-unlistenable, so a ballroom-inspired track lets them show personality and wit — aka C.U.N, regardless of their T. Remember AS4’s super slow ‘Super Queen’? Me either!
‘Queens Everywhere’ might also be the perfect anthem for 2019 Drag Race, considering the show’s spawned more queens than the U.S military’s failed gay bomb could’ve dared to dream of. But we’re talking about these five queens — and didn’t we see so much more of them this episode?
There was a previously much-missed levity present this week, as all of the top 5 seemed to be having more fun with the challenge and their time in the workroom. Perhaps the writing was on the wall; with zero wins to her name, it was almost definitely Vanjie’s week to leave. And what an exit.
‘My Personality Can’t Be Taught’
Was this episode an ode to all the knotty $20 wigs I’ve bought from Paddy’s Markets? Because everything was seriously tied up.
Straight off the bat, we see Silky apologise to Yvie, which was surprising, to say the least. Silky’s been a pretty savvy reality TV star — this week, she even explicitly said she wants a cooking show spin-off, so it feels odd that she didn’t leave the olive branch till the ru-union, or let it all boil up to the lip sync tournament. It makes me think it’s a genuine moment of reflection for Silky.
‘Have I been hiding between big but ultimately unsubstantial stunts? Girl, look at my hair!’
Her attitude was markedly different this week — it seemed like more of the actual person underneath the persona this episode. She was ‘Vulnerable’ in a way she’d refused to be previously, as we saw last week when, rather than address the issues, she tried to side-step them with jokes, and flat-out refused to acknowledge her flaws when Ru pressed her. Perhaps she just realised the show required that Breakthrough Moment from her, but either way, it was rewarding to watch.
As I wrote last week, she’s a complicated person who has been through a lot, and doesn’t fit into the Hero/Villain dichotomy the fans keep trying to fit her into. What is clear is that she’s got an undeniable charm, but, as evidenced in her lip-sync, can’t always harness it/leans on it a little too much. While they’re dolling up, Yvie pretty much spells that out for her, and admits that she needs to work on her candour, which Vulture’s What The Tuck? podcast aptly calls “big narc energy”.
Much like What’s The T, all my D&Ms are sponsored by FaceTune. Just wait till Jameela Jamil finds out about this!
A’Keria, odd bless, truly has no storyline to wrap up, but she’s an absolute delight. Again, it’s quite surprising that we only just learnt about her adopting her brother’s child now; it’s a testament to how the show never really cared too much about building her up. I love her, but can’t see her winning.
Which leaves, as we’ve known for a long time now, Yvie and Brooke. The former’s interesting, if not completely formed; one’s polished and pristine, if not lacking a little grit. I know which I’d prefer — and this week’s episode showed exactly why Yvie is our most deserving winner. But as Season 9 (and, um, that little election this weekend) proved, you can never count out a Steven Bradbury moment.
Sometimes The Turtle Will Outdo The Rabbit, But It’s Very… Rare…
This week’s challenge was really four-fold; write and record a rap, blitz the one-take dance; have a podcast moment and keep up with Ru’s psycho-babble, and deliver your best drag.
While Yvie is the only one to nail all categories, Vanjie misses the mark on all but the rap, unfortunately. She’s too in her head to get her words in formation in both the lip-sync and the podcast, and choosing a runway look that doesn’t necessarily scream Vanjie. But she’s one of those queens who doesn’t need a crown to win Drag Race — her exit proved that she’s much more than a one-trick personality pony, and we’re sure that she’ll be booked and blessed for years (and All Stars) to come.
That’s the gag of the season.
A’Keria, as much as I love her, just does good this episode: her rap is arguably the best and filled with memorable, sellable catchphrases/branding moments, but ultimately doesn’t stand out.
At first, I wasn’t completely sold on Brooke being in the bottom, but on second viewing/listening to ‘Queens Everywhere’ on repeat while writing this, her rap’s just a little too flat. The whole ‘I’m from Canada’ thing isn’t really played with enough to make sense, and the lines about double dutch and floating like a butterfly are too incongruent. To quote Trinty The Tuck, where are the jokes?
She even wore a Canadian tuxedo while recording.
Yvie, though, is on fire this episode. I mean, that back-bend into the demonic crawl? Come on. And her bedazzled, sparkly look was so different for her, too, yet, oddly, still Yvie.
Yvie could crawl out from under my bed and drag me to an eternity in hell any day.
Overall, it felt like the queens missed moments to play with their personalities in this challenge and on the runway. Vanjie, for instance, wore a hat made from her disastrous S10 Barbie-loofah outfit during the rehearsal with (a surprisingly friendly) Todrick Hall: wouldn’t it have been sickening to see her do a redux version for the runway?
To this day, I argue that this look in S10 wasn’t that bad, and didn’t deserve to be in the bottom.
Same with Brooke’s runway. The ballerina thing is stunning but we already saw it in the Monster Ball — and elevated too, mixing low and high-brow and glamour and camp together. I wish she went full Black Swan and deranged, rather than Centre Stage.
But is it camp?
My favourite Brooke moment wasn’t even in a challenge or the lip-sync, but her willingness to shill hard for Micky’s Showgirls.
I luveee dis drink, Ass-aiiieeee.
Best Drag? Well, Lets See What I Have Left…
Back in the days of pre-Season 6, ‘Best Drag’ was a very early runway. It’s a smart choice, since it lets us see who these queens are before we really know them.
The reality is, by the top 5, the girls have probably already pulled out their big boy guns, so this runway is always a little underwhelming, no matter how pretty they look. That’s the case with Brooke, A’Keria and Silky, who, oh my God, is wearing A’Keria’s signature wig which we’ve seen on the runway at least four times now.
Whenever Silky smiles in drag, I truly melt. She is so cute.
Beautiful gowns, beautiful gowns.
A’Keria is so, so stunning, and this dress is divine. The jewels-into-fringe is pageant perfection, but it also doesn’t say much about who she would be as a Drag Superstar. For the show’s narrative, that matters.
Then we have Yvie’s monstrous glamour, which might be one of her prettiest looks yet. Unlike the other queens’ looks, it encapsulates her essence as a performer — it’s maybe not perfectly executed, but it’s damn interesting.
Yvie’s ode to her favourite Simpsons episode, ‘Three Eyed Fish’.
In a shock twist, this week’s best look goes to Michelle Visage, in a stunning reference to Natalie Portman’s portrayal of Celeste, Vox Lux‘s troubled pop-star who never quite recovered from the trauma of surviving a school shooting.
Okay, but we need you to stream Vox Lux OST, and possibly even get it tattoo’d on your body.
America’s Next Drag Superstar Has To Have C.U.N.T (And Wear A’Keria C. Davenport’s Wig)
WHO DID THIS?!?! LMAO! Y’all are too damn much!! 🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/vfZ834J0rU
— Shuga Cain (@MissShugaCain) May 17, 2019
With Vanjie sashaying away, we’re left with our top 4. The reunion’s next week, then the live finale. Will we get an end to #WigGate? Will Mercedes learn to say ‘Opulence’? Will Honey speak? All this remains to be seen, but one thing is certain — Victoria Porkchop Parker will be there.
RuPaul’s Drag Race streams on Stan, with new episodes available 2pm AEST Fridays.
Jared Richards is a staff writer at Junkee and full time Vox Lux stan. Follow him on Twitter.