RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Recap: Only Judy Can Judge Me

“RuPaul is sleeping on Naomi!” you cried. “She deserves a win!” you all declared. Well, I hope you’re all pleased with yourselves. I had just gotten over Latrice’s elimination and had come to terms with the fact that the beloved All Star wasn’t doing well enough to snatch the crown. Then, Naomi Smalls won her first lip sync and went and eliminated beloved frontrunner Manila Luzon.

Manila. Luzon. The queen with the glowing track record and the only other queen besides Latrice with the legacy rep to truly deserve a spot in the RuPaul’s Drag Race winners’ circle.  But now Manila is gone, and I have no faith in society or the rule of law. (This recap is coming to you from my new underground bunker where I will await the end of days, eating cans of BeBe’s ZaZa Soup.)

Now, we are left with the prospect of a top four missing the one queen who most deserved to be there, no matter how you look at it. Manila’s exit has tarnished what was shaping up to be a redemptive season for the franchise. We all love the show’s twists and turns, but this week felt like something went over a cliff.

The Challenge

This week, the queens had to makeover their best Judies, as a tribute to Judy Garland. For many years, Judy was THE indisputable icon of the gay community.  Then, diversity happened. Still, Judy was one hell of a dame who more than deserves pride of place in the annals of gay history. If you have a spare eight hours, you should watch her version of a Star is Born or in the very least, this number from the film.

Continuing our queer history lesson, it’s also true that the Stonewall riots happened the night that Judy Garland died. But these days, it’s controversial to claim (as Ru did) that it was Judy’s death that gave the community the strength to riot against oppressive and violent policing. That being said, I have a bunker full of Molotov cocktails waiting for the day Kylie dies. (There’s always time for a Molotov cocktail.) We, of course, can’t mention Stonewall without this little nugget of RuPaul’s Drag Race gold:

We didn’t get a makeover challenge featuring someone from the queen’s lives in AS3 (and looking back, we sorely needed one). As with AS2, where the queens made over family members, this week helped us to feel closer to the All Stars. Ru’s moment with Latrice and her best friend Tim was genuinely moving.

I am still smarting from Manila’s exit, and I acknowledge that her deck of card couture was her most underwhelming look of the season (a pretty high bar, given what she’s been sending down the runway). BUT I would like to talk about Monique and Monet’s looks. Monet needed the redemption narrative after her Season Ten makeover look sent her home, but c’mon… how was that a winning look?

Monique’s concept was cute and very her, but the execution was shabby as hell (very her on Season Ten).  Michelle was wearing glasses so I don’t know how she didn’t clock it, but then again Michelle’s inflexible interpretation of “family resemblance” had me wondering if I’d accidentally switched over to a parental reveal episode of Maury.

Let’s wander down the yellow brick runway and check out the rest of this week’s looks.

Top Five? Oh honey, I can barely top one these days

With Manila’s shock elimination throwing things out of whack, let’s have a look at the top five’ power top/bottom ranking, and make some predictions. Because this All Stars has been so easy to predict.

Trinity is now the best performing queen of the season, with three challenge wins including one lip sync win. The only time she’s been in the bottom was the week all four remaining queens were up for elimination, and the rest of the time she’s placed high or safe. With Valentina and Manila out of the way, Trinity’s spot in the top four is all but confirmed.

However, Trinity is the only white queen left in the competition (in RuPaul’s Drag Race herstory, this season only to cast no more than two white queens). Her win would keep the Hall of Fame whiter than the queue of people rushing to defend Kerri-Anne Kennerley.

Prediction: Top four, with a decent chance of winning.

Monique has had two wins, including one lip sync win. She’s been in the bottom twice, although some believe she didn’t deserve to be in the bottom for her roast performance. No-one has given better talking head than Monique this season and she’s come to represent the generational change in the show – why shouldn’t a younger, newer queen win? But there is something immature about Monique, something not quite ready to wear the crown.

Prediction: Like Latrilla this week, Monet and Monique will be in the bottom next week and only one of them will make the top four.

Until this week, Naomi Smalls was the Susan Lucci of AS4: she’d missed out on a challenge win at least three times. She’s also been in the bottom twice. Of the three remaining younger queens, she’s the more established and deserves to be there from a consistency and legacy perspective. Also, she just blew a Manila-sized hole in the top four, so there’s plenty of room for her now.

Prediction: Top four, but no win.

Monet now has three wins and one lip sync win, and just one time in the bottom. She’s now on par with Trinity and Manila for most wins, and she’s worked hard to prove herself all season long. Monet is a likeable queen. Just like Monique, there is some maturing to do but unlike her Season Ten sister, it’s not Monet’s attitude that needs an adjustment – it’s her star quality.

Prediction: If we were playing by the numbers, Monet has earned her spot in the top four…but in case you haven’t noticed, challenge wins mean nothing this season. It’s hard to picture Monet and Monique in top four, but then again Rolaskatox all made it to the AS2 finals…

Latrice is the wild card: she’s been brought back by Ru and no-one has ever survived a comeback and made it all the way to the finale. She’s got one win under her belt and two times in the bottom. Now that her best friend was sent home instead of her, Latrice has no-one in her corner to keep her safe, so if she bombs next week, she’s probably going home.

Prediction: Latrice’s life is entirely in Ru’s hands. Depending on who is pulling the strings, Latrice could still make it to the top four as Ru’s sentimental favourite (see: BeBe in AS3).

See you next week, mens in wigs!

Nic Holas has written for The Guardian, Sydney Morning Herald, Archer Magazine, and Hello Mr. You can find him on Twitter @nicheholas, or in his role as co-founder of HIV movement The Institute of Many.