The Best And Most Bizarre Episodes Of ‘Round The Twist’

There’s nothing like a 30 year anniversary to throw you back into the horror, magic and absurdity that was 90s kids TV, and no other show embodies the particular era of WTF-ness better than Round the Twist.

Based on the works of Australian children’s author Paul Jennings, Round the Twist follows the Twist family, Pete, Linda and Bronson (who were played by three sets of children over the years) and their widowed father Tony who live in a haunted lighthouse and spend their days fighting their home being repossessed by the greedy Gribbles. In the midst of this strange and supernatural goings on occur, everything from chronically shitting seagulls, toxic smelly feet, ghosts, clones, dragons to an ice cream machine magically turned into a human who snots out ice cream after eating–basically everything a kid could want out of TV show.

To help celebrate their 30th year anniversary here are a handful of episodes that I consider a must-watch as they typify this irreverent, boundary pushing and absolutely batshit national icon.

Without My Pants (S1 E012)

Pete falls under a strange spell which makes him unable to stop saying the phrase “Without my pants!”

Sure to be one of the most quoted episodes of Round the Twist, ‘Without My Pants’ sees the Twist kids after a spot of whale watching, chasing down a ghost dog named Shovel they found on the beach. After touching him, Pete suddenly finds himself unable to stop saying “without my pants” at the end of every sentence.

This leads to, as you might expect, a lot of funny situations including Pete having to go to school and do an oral presentation without his pants, talk to his crush without his pants and face the ridicule of his classmates without his pants.

Determined to figure out what is happening to him, the Twist kids return to Shovel and discover the bones of Shovel’s master Ben Byron, but Ben is missing his pants. To break the spell on Pete, the Twist kids have to reunite Ben’s skeleton (whose bones have the remarkable power of causing anyone within their vicinity to cry uncontrollably) and give him a pair of pants, poor bloke can’t move on into the afterlife without his pants!

Little Squirt (S2 E03)

As a kid I asked my brother if young boys really had peeing competitions like this and he said yes — I still think he was lying.

We open up on a literal pissing contest. Yes, the boys of Port Niranda are having a contest to see who can pee the farthest up a wall.

In typical Twisty fashion, things take a turn from there as youngest Twist Bronson, earns the name of Little Squirt after his less than impressive debut in the competition, and in anguish ventures down to the local river where the evil Mr Gribble just so happens to be building a damn at the river. Angered by this dam, the river’s water spirit mistakes Bronson for the cause, chasing him about town in everything from sprinklers to the kitchen sink.

After shenanigans and getting Mr Gribble to reverse the damage he has done to the river, the two become friends. And with the water spirit’s help, Bronson is able to prove that he can do anything the big kids can do. Including peeing high up on a wall, but like… really good, guys. He does it really good.

Monster Under the Bed (S4 E02)

I was genuinely afraid of this episode as a kid. No joke. I am much braver now.

Stick two of kids greatest fears together, monsters under the bed and cleaning up, and you will get this Season four episode that genuinely terrifies.

Now, while Round the Twist stories are not necessarily here to spook you so to speak, as they are more so completely over the top as to see almost normal, ‘Monster Under the Bed’ is the closest the show gets to an all out spook fest, between the horror-esque opening of all our Twist kids in bed in a thunderstorm, to the general creepiness of the monster itself slowly throughout the episode growing bigger and bigger, its red eyes growing. Making horrible gurgling noises that unsettle me to this day.

Long story short, Bronson’s been neglecting his chores around the lighthouse so he’s left behind to clean up as the rest of the family go out. Remarkably, without even having lifted a finger, the house is spotless, as Bronson investigates he unearths the dreaded lint monster that’s been collecting all the dust and dirt. Enter showdown stage left. Bronson versus the world’s largest dust bunny, and it’s hungry for blood.

The Copy (S1 E11)

Linda clones herself and it’s surprisingly touching.

‘The Copy’ sees the Twist kids discover in the mess inside their lighthouse home a cloning machine hidden in a cupboard. One flaw however, whatever copies come out are unstable and disappear after a few hours. Unable to resist, the kids start to clone things for themselves, Pete clones himself a pile of money, Bronson a lolly pop while Linda, in trying to win a running race and impress a boy, clones herself.

With both Linda and her double holding all their memories, personality and looks it’s hard to differentiate between the two. Both Linda’s instantly bond and after winning the race with some double-trickery, the two discover that the boy they like actually is a grade A douche. In order to keep both Linda’s from disappearing forever, clone Linda reverses the process and with her passing, tells a distraught Linda not to be sad about her passing, because she will always be with her and it’s just like loving yourself anyway.

There’s a poignancy to Linda’s desire for a more feminine presence in her life, as living with her dad, and two brothers up till now, she has rarely had the chance to express and explore her own femininity. There’s a deeper layer here, with the loss of Linda’s clone echoing the loss of her mother.

‘The Copy’ is an unexpected but not uncharacteristically touching episode for Round the Twist.

The Whirling Derfish (S3 E03)

Y’know those fish that swim up inside your penis? Okay so, that but also… make it propeller.

Season three, probably the most batshit season, where the absurdity of Round the Twist reaches new heights, has us kicking off episode 3 of the season with Bronson and Pete challenging Gribs to a swimming competition from wharf to surf. Bronson, sadly, comes dreadfully last, and in an identity mixup with Gribs and his gang is dunked in the fishtank of a rare Whirling Derfish.

Somehow Bronson swallows the Derfish, somehow the Derfish makes it down to his penis. Somehow this leads to a propeller penis, the perfect tool for Bronson to tackle the Wharf to Shore race, being whirled by his willy.

The Big Burp (S3 E01)

Pete gives birth, gets a girlfriend and pees on a tree, not necessarily in that order.

This is it. Arguably the most famous episode of Round the Twist. If one were to look up Round the Twist in the dictionary there would be a picture of a bloated, pregnant, red faced young boy lying in a bed, experiencing contractions through his throat and eventually giving birth to a slimy green baby via burp.

Series three kicks us off with the quintessential Round the Twist pee. For what is an episode of Round the Twist without a bit of pee? For this childhood-ruiner we see Pete busting to go and deciding to go on the side of a tree only for a tree spirit to emerge and announce she’s fallen in love with him. Bad news, this relationship is going a bit fast and turns out peeing on a tree without the proper protection leads to Pete falling pregnant with the dryad’s baby.

After the classic cis-male experiencing the pains of pregnancy has been thoroughly milked; we see Pete giving birth to the little tyke through his mouth — by burping — including some delightful slime-green afterbirth or ‘after-burp’ he vomits up. We see it all in painful 3:2 aspect ratio.

Birth, death, nudity, a remarkable amount of urination, Aussie brand humour to boot and just a pinch of the absurd, Round the Twist is a kids show of its time and could only have been made in its time, yet remarkably, has aged pretty well. Sure, the special effects feel a bit like a bad trip, but the characters ring through, the acting is still good and most of all it reminds you that Australia is a place where you can have adventures.

Magic doesn’t only happen in the US or UK. Your own home can be incredible, surreal and at times is sure to send you round the twist.

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