Culture

Queensland Has Spoken. Here Are The Winners And Losers Of The State Election.

No prizes for guessing which one Campbell Newman is.

That’s all folks. We’ve endured just under a month of deranged ramblingschicken dances, people strapping damsels to railroad tracks, and Pauline Hanson, but #qldvotes is now basically at its end.

It’s been a fun ride, somewhat similar to the rollercoasters I was begrudgingly strapped to the last time I was in the state. But, just like that loopy one which was weirdly all about Lethal Weapon, at some point you’re going to need to get off and vomit fairy floss into a bin.

Nevertheless, as the kid selling overpriced photos at the end of the ride will tell you, it’s important to take a look back and acknowledge your accomplishments. And, as the final votes get counted and Antony Green salvages the last pieces of his sanity to bring us the confirmed results, let’s have a look at the winners and losers thus far.

You done good, Queensland.

Loser: Campbell Newman

I think we all saw this coming. Campbell Newman has officially lost his seat of Ashgrove to Labor MP Kate Jones and his party are well on track to losing state parliament as well. The LNP are currently trailing Labor 39 seats to 43 and considering Labor only need 45 seats to take government, it’s safe to say things are looking pretty grim in the Newman camp.

ABC projections are suggesting that Labor will finish up with an election-winning 45 seats and the LNP will secure a total of 41. As two of the other three seats have already been won by Katter’s Australian Party and the other by an independent, Campbell has all but conceded the loss.

This morning he called Labor leader Annastacia Palaszczuk to “congratulate her on her candidates’ success” and last night he announced his retirement from politics completely.

This marks the end of Newman’s near-three-year stint as Queensland Premier and many were quick to celebrate the news. This was, after all, a government who dismissed concerns about the Great Barrier Reef stating they were instead “in the coal business”cut thousands of public service jobs while simultaneously providing wage increases for MPs, scrapped the state’s literary awards, made further cuts to women’s health services, mental health facilities and much, much more.

Naturally, everyone on Twitter enthusiastically yelled the same joke at each other and laughed maniacally into the night.

Farewell, old friend.

Winner: Annastacia Palaszczuk and Labor

It really can’t be overstated what a big deal this is for Queensland Labor. In 2012, the LNP won 78 of the total 89 seats and the ALP were left with just seven. SEVEN. Now, three years later, they’ve swung around to snatch more than six times the seats and oust Newman out of power completely.

“Let’s put the past three years behind us,” Annastacia Palaszczuk said last night“Let’s have a consensus government where we bring people together, where we listen and where we unite … Tomorrow we begin a brand new chapter in Queensland’s history.”

With the final votes still being counted, it may not be a straight-up victory speech, but look at those damn smiles!

Of course, this has promising implications for Labor on the national level too. Much as the LNP found itself in prime position to tackle the federal election after Labor’s manic self-implosion in 2013, Newman’s defeat and Tony Abbott’s ongoing fever dream of a Prime Ministership are engineering a pretty little situation for Bill Shorten.

Despite sounding like a problematic combination of a calculator, pocket lint and a piece of cardboard, Shorten was quick to capitalise on the party’s success by taking to the year’s first episode of Insiders this morning.

Loser: Tony Abbott

This is truly the last thing this dude needed. After a series of top-notch terrible decisions, ol’ mate Abbott’s suffering an onslaught of criticism from his fellow MPs, he’s being trolled by some of the nation’s biggest papers, and all the people who didn’t like him anyway are feeling especially vindicated.

His approval rating now sits at an all-time low of 27 percent; just one measly percent higher than Julia Gillard suffered at her worst and, if the rumours are to be believed, things are getting all-out Machiavellian inside his party with the guillotine mere moments from dropping.

Seriously. It’s getting hard to keep up with the metaphors being used and after a week of whispers about him being “terminally wounded”, people are now just talking about straight up murdering him.

In light of Premier Newman’s resignation and the LNP’s likely defeat in Queensland, Abbott has given a solemn statement to the press saying there are “lessons in this for all governments, including the Federal one”.

But it seems as though his statements have done little to reinstate any kind of faith in the government. While he was talking to the press, one of his Federal MPs Jane Prentice was busy rubbishing him on live TV. Stating “we can’t continue as we are,” Prentice cited the importance of the Prime Minister’s scheduled speech to the National Press Club on Monday.

It’s expected to go a little something like this:

Now, Fairfax have revealed that a pre-planned cabinet meeting on Tuesday afternoon and all-day Wednesday will be devoted to discussion of party problems and policy for the year ahead.

Winner: Australia

Sure, Queensland is in the midst of enormous political upheaval with the crucial deciding votes still being counted. Yes, it seems like our national leadership is once again being tossed around backrooms and speculative newspaper spreads like a busted-up old chew toy.

But boy, is it entertaining.

You can follow the remainder of the vote count here.