Coins, Public Holidays, And Stationery: A List Of Shit That Will Change Now The Queen Is Dead
Australians can probably expect to get a public holiday out of this.
The news of Queen Elizabeth’s passing has rocked sleepy Friday newsrooms across the country as Australians react to the colonial leader’s passing with bittersweet emotions.
But as the elderly monarch’s death took everyone by surprise this morning, a calculated and well-oiled strategy was set in motion. Operation Unicorn, the official procedure following the death of Queen Elizabeth in Scotland, was executed today, and the ramifications of the plan are being felt right now in Australia.
Without further ado, here’s all the stuff that’s about to change down under.
King Charles’ Face Will Now Appear On All Our Dollarydoos
Yes, the portrait of Queen Elizabeth’s smiling mug on Australia’s currency will be replaced with the visage of the newly crowned King Charles. The royal figurehead currently appears on all of our coins, with tradition dictating that a king/queen also appears on our $5 note.
BREAKING NEWS: Royal Mint releases first image of King Charles III currency pic.twitter.com/6pZuQvPzQC
— RomleyCompton🏳️⚧️🏴🇪🇺 (@evilniamh) September 8, 2022
Once a design is approved, The Royal Australian Mint will begin circulating coins with King Charles’ likeness. An obscure and old tradition also means that the King’s portrait on the new coins has to face a different direction to that of Queen Lizzie, facing left instead of right.
FYI, currency with the Queen’s face will not be rendered worthless once new coins and notes bearing King Charles’ face enter circulation, but it does potentially mean high school students across the country will no longer be able to recreate a notorious sexual innuendo on the $5 note involving a whale and a dong.
Member’s Of The Queen’s Counsel Will Rebrand As King’s Counsel
Senior barristers across Australia will get a minor role change, as the prestigious Queen’s Counsel title awarding senior lawyers for their advocacy will be officially rebranded as King’s Counsel. Presumably, small Australian stationery companies will experience a massive boost in revenue today, as the newly anointed KCs rush out in droves to get their title change officiated in court letterheads.
Just amended my email footer from QC to KC. A mundane and unimportant task in itself, but poignant and affecting for me personally.
— John Machell KC (@JohnMachell1) September 8, 2022
Portraits of the Queen that hang in public buildings across the country are also reportedly being covered with black sheets until official replacements depicting the new King can be arranged. So pour one out for art framers everywhere today, who are presumably working overtime.
We’ll Get A Freakin’ Public Holiday
Now the news that we’re all here for, the death of the Queen will result in a national day of mourning, which might be enough to sway my convictions about an Australian Republic for another year.
me, a republican, when i find out that we’ll probably get a public holiday for the queen’s passing pic.twitter.com/nxKFepgLDu
— cammyboo AO (@cameronwilson) September 8, 2022
The official date of the public holi- *cough* day of mourning will potentially take place following the Queen’s official funeral at Westminster Abbey. The leaked details of Operation London Bridge suggested that the Queen’s funeral would occur 10 days after the date of her death so that roughly puts the potential date of our public holiday on September 19.
Which is lucky, because according to The Cut‘s understanding of the leaked plan, “if the funeral falls on the weekend or an existing bank holiday, an extra bank holiday will not be granted”.
Parliament Will Shut For At Least Fifteen Days
The Queen’s death also means that Australian Parliament, which only just resumed, will now disperse for at least fifteen days.
Yep, parliament will be suspended for at least fifteen days as part of official protocol following the death of the monarch, even exceeding the mourning time given to British politicians of ten days.
Luckily, Australia’s new climate bill narrowly passed through the senate yesterday before the Queen’s demise triggered the parliamentary closure this morning, but the delay will affect the debate of other bills such as the legalisation of euthanasia in the Northern Territory.