Prince Harry And Meghan Markle Have Quit Being Royals, So Everyone’s Imagining Their New Jobs
Not easy to imagine Harry working in a fish and chip shop, hey?
Overnight, Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle released a statement clarifying their intention to step back from their duties as ‘senior’ royals.
Of course, the pair can never really quit being part of the royal family — Harry’s dad will always be Charles, Princes of Wales. But what they can do is stop relying on the Queen for their paycheque, and step down from making public appearances in their role as ambassadors for Buckingham Palace. Both of which they plan to do, all while splitting their time between America and the UK.
“We intend to step back as ‘senior’ members of the Royal Family and work to become financially independent, while continuing to fully support Her Majesty The Queen,” says the statement, also posted to the pair’s Instagram page.
Big announcement from Harry and Meghan this evening pic.twitter.com/roMlmsfbO3
— Victoria Murphy (@byQueenVic) January 8, 2020
Needless to say, a statement like that is a bit like lobbing a grenade, and it’s all been a bit messy since the post went up. The British media, predictably, has acted with a mix of feverish joy and straight-up hysteria, while Buckingham Palace have released a statement that has only confused things further.
“Discussions with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex are at an early stage,” said a statement from the Palace that has widely read as passive-aggressive. “We understand their desire to take a different approach, but these are complicated issues that will take time to work through.”
Uh, so yeah. A mess.
The Royal Family acting like Meghan and Harry broke up with them via text: pic.twitter.com/Dto010AtB7
— Michael Tannenbaum (@iamTannenbaum) January 8, 2020
Of course, because this is the internet, the incident has spawned a swathe of memes, most of them imagining Prince Harry and Meghan Markle as a pair of jubilant tricksters, fucking with the Queen.
Megan and Harry finalizing their statement without consulting anyone in the royal family: pic.twitter.com/qtHiMYkYtc
— Sinesipho (@iSendim_) January 8, 2020
Harry to that family. pic.twitter.com/YdjkC4YYeI
— . (@__Lwando) January 8, 2020
Twitter users have also taken it upon themselves to find the financially emancipated Prince Harry a new job.
Prince Harry's gonna rent a flat above a shop, cut his hair and get a job
— Jellicle Katz, Professional Therapist (@BobbyBigWheel) January 8, 2020
🚨 WE’RE HIRING 🚨 pic.twitter.com/c7aJ6jjsS1
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) January 8, 2020
Best of luck to Meghan and Harry. Reminds me of the time I gave up a "professional" publishing job after a year because I hated it so much, with no other job on the horizon. I ended up working in a deli. Suspect they will do the same. It's tough out there.
— Paul Russell (@paulrussell99) January 8, 2020
prince harry at his first day at Job: ah this sucks man
— Christopher Hooks (@cd_hooks) January 8, 2020
This is an excellent Sit Com premise. They relocate to small Canadian town, Meghan gets job as local High School drama coach & Harry tends bar in The Ye Olde London Pub owned by a posh drunk expat whose convinced the locals he’s Lord Lucan https://t.co/6FSn4Fe2Sg
— tom jamieson (@jamiesont) January 8, 2020
Of course, all jokes aside, Harry and Meghan won’t have any issues finding jobs. They’re world-famous celebrities with ties to the world of the rich and the powerful. Don’t feel too sorry for the pair: they’ll still be making more money than you’ll ever see in your entire lifetime.