Conservatives Are Very Angry That Potato Head, A Plastic Toy, Rebranded To Be Gender Neutral

"Why do people think a gender neutral potato head is weird? He is a potato who stores his facial features in his ass."

potato head conservative

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Over the weekend Mr Potato Head came out as gender neutral, with Hasbro announcing that the toy would go forward being known simply as Potato Head. And, as expected, conservatives lost their damn minds over the news.

Despite early commercials for the toy explicitly stating that Potato Head could be turned into a woman with the different accessories included, and the fact that the character is literally a toy potato, conservatives were outraged.

Hasbro shared that dropping the “Mr” was done to promote more inclusivity beyond the “traditional” family structure, which will allow children to have full creativity when playing.

“Culture has evolved,” Kimberly Boyd, SVP and GM of Hasbro, told Fast Company. “Kids want to be able to represent their own experiences. The way the brand currently exists— with the ‘Mr’ and ‘Mrs’— is limiting when it comes to both gender identity and family structure.”

Naturally after hearing that Hasbro wanted to shift away from traditional family structures, conservatives absolutely lost their minds. However it was very clear that right-wing nuts didn’t bother to actually read any articles beyond the headline because Hasbro literally shared that both Mr and Mrs Potato Head’s would actually still be sold under the umbrella brand of ‘Potato Head’.

For example, everyone’s least favourite right-wing troll, Ben Shapiro, of course had a lot of thoughts about the change. Poking fun at Hasbro’s decision, Shapiro sarcastically claimed that bigotry had been “ANNIHILATED” with the change and now other toys like Barbie also needed to become “more gender-neutral” to satisfy society.

“What if Potato Head identifies as squash though?,” he continued to tweet.

Meanwhile, republican politician Lauren Boebert called for the phrase “come on, man” to be cancelled in favour of “come on, person” in the name of inclusivity, totally misunderstanding the reasoning behind the Potato Head rebrand.

Equally terrible, Piers Morgan weighed in by criticising the name change for being done in the middle of the pandemic to pacify “a few wokies”… as if Potato Head was holding the COVID-19 vaccine hostage or something.

Then there was the literal US House Judiciary Committee trying to use a clip from Toy Story, where Potato Head, a fictional potato, tells Woody, a fictional cowboy, that it’s “Mr Potato Head to you, you backstabbing murderer” to try and fight the Hasbro rebrand.

Most confusingly, however, was CBN News Chief Political Analyst, David Brody, and his take on the whole thing.

Citing the bible as his reference point, Brody tried to claim that there are only two genders, and if you “crack open a bible… it’s right there in black and white”, as if the Bible had regularly touched on potatoes with click on moustaches and handbags throughout its teachings.

Even stranger was Brody stating that Potato Head was male because he “has a moustache” and identifies as “Mr”, happily accepting what the plastic toy had identified and presented itself as, without need to discuss biology.

Naturally Brody, was absolutely dunked on for just how badly he contradicted his own arguments about gender and identity the more he spoke.

Oh, and of course for his terrible use of the bible as justification for his plea to keep the potato toy male.

In conclusion, can someone PLEASE check on conservatives? The overreactions are all coming off as a little bit “snowflake-ish” right now.