Here’s All The New Pokemon Sword and Shield Goss We Have Thanks To Nintendo Direct

Some of these Pokemon are HUGE.

Pokemon Sword and Shield

Not to be dramatic, but the sneak peeks of Pokemon Sword and Pokemon Shield have watered the world’s crops, done everybody’s taxes, and made the fact that we’re all staring down the barrel of 30 more years, max, of human civilisation that much more palatable.

Yep, yesterday, out of the bleak fog of human existence emerged Nintendo Direct, the company’s E3-style news dump. Although Direct is ostensibly meant to be about a whole bevy of games, Nintendo are only really focussing on two at the moment: Sword and Shield, the two new instalments of one of the biggest entertainment franchises in history.

And they’re not being shy about details either. Following up from that first packed announce trailer, Direct was overloaded with info, from news about legendaries, to further gameplay info, to an actual release date.

Here’s what we learned.

Pokemon Sword and Shield Are Five Months Away

Praise be: that tentative “Fall” release date has finally been locked in. Pokemon Sword and Shield will both drop on the same date around the world — November 15. That means no irritating release schedules, specially planned so Americans get it first; we’ll all be loading up a new Pokemon game into our Switch at exactly the same time.

So hey, you know what that means — probably a good time to book out an entire week of annual leave from the 15th onwards, hey?

The New 8th Gen Pokemon Are Impossibly Cute

It wouldn’t be a Pokemon announce without featuring a bunch of, uh, Pokemon, and in that regard Direct certainly delivered. Four new eight generation Pokemon were revealed, including Gossifleur, a flower-based creature; the imposing Drednaw; a raven called Corviknight; and Wooloo, who is literally a sheep.

Out of them all, Wooloo has emerged as the clear favourite. A gentle creature who “craves stability” according to the Direct trailer, Wooloo has two abilities –“Fluffy” and “Run Away”, making them both cute and anxious, AKA a typical millennial.

Indeed, Wooloo is so immediately popular that they’ve been aggressively and rousingly memed.

They Gave A Pokémon A Sword

Direct also gave a sneak peek of the new legendaries of Sword and Shield. Named Zacian and Zamazenta respectively, the pair are intimidating-looking, insignia-emblazoned badasses. Apparently they’re “shrouded in mystery”, so don’t expect much more info than that until the game drops.

Oh, and sorry for burying the lede on this one, but Zacian has an honest-to-God sword, just hanging there right out of their mouth, much to the delight of the internet.

They Also Made Them Big As Hell

One of the new game functions unveiled as part of Direct is Dynamax. Simply put, it’s a type of transformation that makes your Pokemon big as hell — at the flick of a switch, your garden variety Wooloo can turn into a fucken’ behemoth. All of the moves get upgraded along with the creature’s size, so your beloved furry pals are powerful as well as bigger.

You only get one shot at Dynamax per battle though and it lasts but three short turns, so it’s probably something you want to keep in your back pocket.

And There’s Some Humans Too, I Guess

Humans are always the least fascinating part of any new Pokemon franchise — as much adored as Professor Oak is, I would run over his dead body to get my hands on a single, shitty Caterpie.

But hey, if you’re fanging for some new info on fleshies (canonically what humans are called in the Pokemon world, and not a gross nickname I just made up, I promise) then Direct had you covered, introducing your rival Hop; old-ass Professor Magnolia, your mentor; Magnolia’s granddaughter Sonia; and superstar trainer Leon.

You can meet them all when Pokemon Sword and Shield drop this November. Get excited.