Ranking ‘Physical: 100’ Challenges Based On How Immediately I’d Perish

We’re mere days away from the finale of Physical: 100, the show that reminds us we should probably hit the gym. Yet here I am, ass firmly on the couch, hurling advice at the insanely fit athletes on screen as if I wouldn’t immediately pass out in the same situation. 

One hundred muscled up South Korean (mostly) athletes have been whittled down to five in a gauntlet of fitness challenges on Netflix’s latest reality TV offering. Currently sitting at #2 on Netflix’s trending list, it’s an absolute banger of a show, showcasing incredible athleticism and mental strength of its competitors.

Where Physical: 100 really shines is in its bizarre and creative challenges. Like the demon child of an obstacle course and Gladiator, the challenges push the athletes to their absolute limit while fellow competitors watch on. Both team and individual challenges skew the odds in different ways, and the contestants make these challenges look — well, not easy, but within the realms of achievable.

But let’s be real: there’s precisely zero chance I’d survive any of them. Like any good couch coach, I’m fuelled by delusions of grandeur and a total lack of self-awareness. With that, here’s an extremely hypothetical ranking of the challenges from Physical: 100 from the least to most difficult (obviously setting aside the fact that I wouldn’t even nab a participation trophy). (Oh, and FYI: Quest 4 challenges have official names based on Greek mythology, but I’ve taken the liberty to name the others myself.)

#10. Quest 0: The Monkey Bars From Hell

This challenge was the first one out the gate and it was technically a “pre-quest” challenge (what sadists). The group of 100 was split in half, then each group had to hold on to the metal frame for as long as they could. The higher you ranked overall, the more priority you were given in choosing your opponent for the next challenge. 

I played on the monkey bars a lot in primary school, so I’m thinking that gives me an edge here. I’d like to think I could manage to hold on for at least a few seconds.

#9. Quest 2.5: This One Seems Cruel

Another one based on bodyweight (there’s a pattern here) this challenge was a chance for the losers to get back in the game. Competitors had to hold up their torso statuettes that hung on the end of a rope pulley, which was weighed at 40 percent of their own weight. If they let go, their torsos came crashing down and eliminated them from the game. Symbolic.

The stronger competitors seemed to be at a disadvantage here as they couldn’t utilise any explosive strength to hold up their weightier statues. I would hope to stand a chance with my impressively smaller amount of muscle mass, but if I’m honest, I’d probably get instant rope burn.

#8. Quest 2: Pass The Sand Parcel

Let’s not get into just how betrayed I was when Nam Kyung Jin challenged fellow wrestler and friend Jang Eun Sil and her team, because his team thought they’d be the easiest to beat. Thankfully, revenge was sweet when the scrappy underdogs won against all odds. 

Surely I could pull off a win too? In this quest, the top 50 split into teams of five where they went head to head with another team to complete a rope bridge with wooden planks and carry bags of sand to fill up a tube. I may not get the most sand in that tube, but I’d try.

#7. Quest 4, Game 3: Wings of Icarus

Quest 4 had the top 20 competitors split into teams of five, where each team sent a delegate for each of the four games. Each game was inspired by ancient Greek mythology, which was a delightful touch. Here, competitors had to climb a never-ending rope that kept falling from the roof. The best part of this challenge was watching national ice-climber and mountain rescuer Kim Min Cheol barely break a sweat. “You gotta use your feet!” I called out to the losing competitors, in full knowledge I’d barely make it up halfway.

#6. Quest 4, Game 2: The Fire of Prometheus

Another myth-inspired challenge, this was the musical chairs of obstacle courses. Competitors had to hop a fence, sprint through sand and rain, and pick up a torch. The slowest one was eliminated in each round, until one remained. Sure, I’d definitely be the first one eliminated, but I think I’d make it through the course at least, which is more than I can say for the other challenges.

#5. Quest 4, Game 4: The Tail of Ouroboros

I hate running. This challenge had four competitors start at equally distant points on a 200m(ish) track. You had to try and tag the person in front of you and avoid the person behind, until one remained. The challenge lasted 21 laps, so about a 4.2km run. And there’s someone constantly chasing you? It’s giving It Follows. I hate it. Pass.

#4. Quest 3: What Am I, A Tow Truck?

Quest 3 split contestants into three teams and forced them to drag a 2 tonne wooden boat up a ramp, then loop its rope around a pole. The surprise winners from Quest 2 teamed up with the second-chancers from Quest 2.5 to form the ultimate underdog team, but sadly weren’t able to make history twice in a row.

Honestly? I couldn’t offer more than moral support and a dislocated shoulder in this challenge.

#3. Quest 1: Gladiator IRL

I’m under no illusions that I would immediately perish in any one-on-one challenges. Did you see the moves these competitors pulled off? Between wrestlers, MMA fighters, and generally kick-ass athletes, I’d rather hand the ball over to them and wish them a wonderful day.

#2. Quest 4, Game 5: The Punishment of Sisyphus

If you thought the beep test was bad, add a ramp and a 100kg boulder. A potent combo of strength and endurance, this challenge saw teams put forward their strongest competitors to tackle this literal Sisyphean task. That boulder would flatten me the moment I try to coax it up the slightest incline, no doubt about it.

#1. Quest 4, Game 1: The Punishment of Atlas

Be serious. This over-the-shoulder boulder holder challenge was absolutely brutal, with competitors lifting and holding a 50kg boulder on their shoulders for as long as they could. The real question was whether the producers suspected it would take over two hours before one of them dropped the ball. Two hours!

I would technically survive this one only because I wouldn’t even be able to move the boulder a single millimetre off the ground. Put me in, coach, I’m ready.