Culture

Huge Muppet Peter Dutton Threatens Local Councils Against Moving Australia Day

It's only November and the 'Change The Date' takes are already here.

Home Affairs Minister and colossal muppet Peter Dutton has come out swinging at any local councils thinking about messing around with Australia Day 2019. Dutton is saying he’ll get very cranky if they try to move any official events.

With the Change The Date movement growing in size and impact every year, we’ve already seen numerous progressive local councils respond by attempting to move official citizenship events and the like away from the divisive date of January 26th.

Several councils, including Melbourne’s Yarra Council and Northern NSW’s Byron Bay Council, have had their powers to hold citizenship ceremonies stripped entirely after attempting to move Australia Day plans, and now King Potato is threatening more of this hardline approach to naughty councils who dare defy his iron rule.

“I don’t care whether people are seeking to move it in an obvious way or playing games – the intent is very clear,” Dutton told 2GB earlier today.”The rules are pretty clear. If they’re not going to abide by it, then they’ll find themselves without the ability to conduct the ceremony. Australians don’t want councils playing politics with these issues.”

One would argue that listening to their constituents about concerns that Australia Day is being held on the anniversary of when an entire culture was invaded and dismantled, is exactly what elected politicians should do. But I think we all know by this point Dutton barely has the cognitive abilities to comprehend such things.

Dutton’s new boss is, unsurprisingly, also firmly in the “let’s ignore Indigenous people entirely” camp:

One council that probably isn’t too fazed by Big Bad Scary Petey though, is WA’s Fremantle Council, who’s second year in a row of holding an alternative Australia Day event was a huge, comprehensive success.

Buckle in mates, it’s not even December and the annual Australia Day date shit-fight has commenced. Maybe let’s just hurry up and change the bloody date yeah?

Feature image: Twitter / Stephanie Peatling