Gaming

People Are Furious A Video Game Was Announced

"Diablo fans reacted as though, after a 12-year relationship, Blizzard had taken them out to a candlelit dinner and a long walk upon a moonlit beach, then gifted them a pearl necklace."

Promotional image from Diablo Immortal

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This week in completely normal reactions to stuff that won’t significantly affect anybody’s life, gamers are in a blind rage over the announcement of a mobile game.

Over the weekend, Blizzard, the company behind games such as World of Warcraft, Starcraft and Overwatch, announced Diablo Immortal, a new mobile game set between Diablo II and Diablo III. Diablo is a well-loved hack and slash game series in which players fight through demons to defeat Diablo, the Lord of Terror. 

Ardent fans had been hoping that the weekend’s BlizzCon event would bring news of a Diablo IV, as the last game in the series was released over half a decade ago in 2012. Indeed, Blizzard teased some Diablo-related news in a blog post a couple of weeks before the convention. The lights were dimmed, the rose petals scattered, the mood set.

Blizzard qualified its statement by saying it wouldn’t be announcing everything it had in the works. But fans were already in the bathroom, shaving and humming along to Marvin Gaye’s ‘Let’s Get It On’.

So, upon the unexpected announcement of Diablo Immortal, fans lost their collective shit.

Diablo fans reacted as though, after a 12-year relationship, Blizzard had taken them out to a candlelit dinner and a long walk upon a moonlit beach, then gifted them a pearl necklace.

Yes, it was disappointing. But then fans quickly proved themselves to be that messy bitch who hurls things at their significant other because how dare Blizzard show up with a pearl necklace when it knew they were waiting for a diamond ring.

In a very level-headed, not at all out of proportion move, some have even started a petition to have Diablo Immortal cancelled, because if they aren’t getting the game they want, no other new game in the series should exist. At the time of writing, it had nearly hit its goal of 35,000 signatures.

However, it turns out Blizzard had the diamond ring in its jacket pocket all along. According to sources who spoke to Kotaku, Blizzard had recorded a video teasing Diablo IV, which is indeed in development, but wasn’t planning to commit at BlizzCon. Blizzard is famously strict regarding its standards, and perhaps felt Diablo IV hadn’t yet met them.

Fortunately, game development isn’t like dating, because if it were Blizzard might consider calling the whole thing off.

Update 10:20AM September 7: This article has been updated to reflect Blizzard’s clarification to Kotaku that no announcements were pulled from BlizzCon.