Pauline Pantsdown Sneaked Soundbites Of Gay Sex Into A 2004 John Laws Commercial

Yesterday, drag queen, unrivalled political commentator and future ruler of the world, Pauline Pantsdown, dropped the following bombshell on Facebook:

Yup, you read that right.

In the middle of an innocent, wholesome ad for Australia’s Greatest Living Legend/Worst Right-Wing Shock Jock lies the sinister sound of gay hijinks. Possibly butt-stuff.

The “cat licking its lips” part happens at 11 seconds in.

First coming to prominence in the late 1990s with massive hits like “I’m a Backdoor Man” and “I Don’t Like It,” Pantsdown bobs back up whenever her namesake, Pauline Hanson, decides to launch one of her endless Senate runs. And now, her shocking confession has sent Australia’s political establishment into meltdown.

As a whirlwind of speculation and blame-shifting engulfs Parliament House, decent citizens tremble in their beds for terror of where Pantsdown may strike next. Pantsdown’s alter ego, Simon Hunt, was a professional sound designer, potentially infecting dozens of this great nation’s iconic soundbites! What if the sound of perversion has infiltrated the Channel Nine cricket theme, or that QANTAS ad with the singing kiddies? Or even – Heaven help us – the old intro jingle for ABC News? IS NOTHING SAFE?

Junkee spoke with Pantsdown herself, in an effort to see how far this well of depravity sinks.

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JUNKEE: How did you even come to work on the commercial? Did they know who you were?

PAULINE: The wonderful thing about drag stardom is out-of-costume anonymity, so my parallel life as a sound designer was unaffected. Around the same time as this commercial, I got my photo taken with Pauline Hanson at a book launch, just because I wanted one of us together. She was oblivious that it was me – I was just some guy.

Proof.

What gave you the inspiration to give the John Laws ad a ‘personal touch’? How did you go about it?

At the time, there was a gay couple on the TV show The Block, and Laws went on air railing against these “young poofs” — so I thought he was fair game.

How did I go about it? I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you! Let’s just say that next time I’ll get a microphone stand so that I’ve got both hands free…

Why spill the beans now? Did something happen to decide you? Are you in hiding?

I think there’s a ten-year rule on revelations like this. I’m not in hiding — Lawsie and I even share the same wig technician!

Are there any other hidden gems like the lip-smack out there?

I think I’ve always been a prankster. I was a contestant on the ’80s TV dating show Perfect Match, but my episode wasn’t screened because I scared my “date” by leaving a fake hand on her shoulder when we were introduced.

If John Laws is reading this, have you got a special message for him?

John — it was beautiful, it was memorable, but next time use more Valvoline!

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Follow Pauline Pantsdown on Facebook here. Seriously. You won’t regret it.