The Retractable Bollards Outside Parliament Keep Impaling Politicians’ Cars

No politicians have been injured... yet.

I know I shouldn’t find this story as funny as I do. I realise it’s probably a massive inconvenience, not to mention a tremendous waste of taxpayer money. Honestly, I should probably be more concerned that the security system protecting our leaders is so bloody shoddy.

But fuck it.

The security bollards outside Parliament House in Canberra keep impaling politicians’ cars, and it is absolutely hilarious.

According to Fairfax, five luxury cars used to transport politicians around the capital have been damaged by the retractable steel bollards that are meant to protect Parliament House from terrorist attacks. In most cases, the damage was reportedly significant enough that the vehicles had to be written off.

Apparently the problem started in November last year, after work began on a $126 million security upgrade that included the construction of a steel fence around the perimeter of the building. As a result of the work, the bollards — which were installed in 2005 — were switched from automatic operation to manual.

“The problem, apparently, is human error,” Fairfax concludes.

Victorian senator Derryn Hinch raised concerns about the bollards back in December after three cars had already been damaged.

Fairfax reports that at least two more cars have been damaged in the past couple of weeks.

According to a spokesperson for the Department of Parliamentary Services, no one has been injured by the bollards, and no parliamentarians were aboard any of the vehicles when they were attacked from below.

Not yet, anyway.