Oh Nothing, Beyonce’s Just Hanging Out In The Melbourne ‘Burbs Right Now

This isn't right.

Beyonce, the superduper megastar and beloved pop diva, kicked off the Australian leg of her Mrs Carter Show World Tour in Melbourne yesterday. According to various reports, it was the kinda understated spectacle you’d expect from Queen B, you know, shit involving a zip-wire and fireworks, no big deal.


You might’ve expected Beyonce to celebrate the great start to her tour by kicking off her heels and indulging in some laser skirmish with her dancers. No, Beyonce doesn’t do that. Beyonce puts on a fur coat and hangs out in front of some shitty house on Beith Street in Brunswick, as the dudes from local cafe Hungry Birds Cafecito just noticed.


Dear the rest of Australia, please make sure Beyonce has adequate accommodation when she visits your city. This is embarrassing. Beyonce is a superstar, she deserves a classy penthouse suite in the CBD, not some paint-chipped halfway home far from a serviceable bus route. Look how sad she looks! Jay Z must be so mad right now.