Noel Gallagher’s Hilarious Commentary On Oasis Videos Will Make Your Day
"I have to say about all these videos: If you needed four guys to walk around in slow motion, we were the best at that."
As anyone who even had a remote passing interest in Brit-Pop would be aware, Oasis’s Noel Gallagher is one of the world’s finest (accidental) comedy minds. Remember that time he called his brother Liam “a man with a fork in a world of soup”, or the time he referred to Jack White as “Zorro on doughnuts”? The guy was basically Karl Pilkington before Karl Pilkington even existed.
Well, someone just discovered the Holy Grail of Noel Gallagher comedy bits: a 10-minute video where he offers a running commentary on Oasis’s music videos. Turns out, he wasn’t much of a fan of any of them. Among the highlights are these assorted quotes:
– “Why am I dressed like that? I look like fuckin’ Columbo.”
– “Oh, I was fuckin’ drunk for this video. Look how pissed I am there.”
– “Who fuckin’ watches videos these days? No one. A right fuckin’ cunt, if you ask me.”
– “Bag o’ shite, that; waste of a fuckin’ afternoon.”
– “I have to say about all these videos: If you needed four guys to walk around in slow motion, we were the best at that.”
– “Robbie Williams based his whole fuckin’ career on this song, that’s what I hate about this.”
– “Is that a man with legs made of sausages? That’s not real. Someone’s having a f**kin’ laugh.”
– “That’s supposed to be a spaceship taking off. It looks like a lot of scaffolding sinking.”
– “Can we listen to this with the sound down?”
The pain on his voice around the 9-minute mark kinda sums up the whole experience. Someone needs to give this guy a variety show as soon as possible.