No, Eric Abetz, We Shouldn’t Be “Celebrating” People Who Identify As Heterosexual

Sometimes it feels like we can’t go a week without a politician making ludicrous statements on topics they seemingly know nothing about. This week, that politician is Tasmanian Liberal senator Eric Abetz.

Liberal Senator Eric Abetz Reckons We Should Celebrate People Who “Come Out” As Straight

Abetz is known for vocalising his wildly incorrect conservative opinions — particularly about the LGBTIQ+ community. He’s previously voiced concerns that same-sex marriage would “open Pandora’s box”, “undo the institution of marriage” and have “other consequences”, such as polyamory.

Now, I’m no relationship expert, most of my relationships involve gay “dating” apps and last a red-hot hour and a half. But I’m pretty sure that straight people also practice polyamory, and that in countries like America where same-sex marriage is legal, fire hasn’t fallen from the skies and Laverne Cox hasn’t seized control of the White House, although that’s a nice thought.

This time around, in the heat of the never-ending same-sex marriage debate, the delightfully ignorant Abetz has made the claim that the media is biased towards gay people, because when straight people “come out” about their sexuality, they aren’t celebrated like those pesky queers.

This would be an interesting concept, if it weren’t for the fact that straight people don’t need to come out. Nor is their hypothetical “coming out” worth celebrating.

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Growing Up Queer Isn’t Easy

In my experience being a gay person hasn’t always been fun. You might see us in our Mardi Gras parades, loudly flailing in fairy-wings and booty shorts, with glitter rainbows bursting from all our bits. Yet what you might not understand is the purpose of those parades, and the symbolic meaning behind being here, queer, loud and proud.

I remember being a young and closeted teen lying awake at night, praying to whatever God there was, that if I woke up the next morning straight, I’d be forever in their debt. Unfortunately, nobody listened, and when I awoke the next day, I was no less burdened by the fact that I was gay.

My upbringing as a queer teenager was wrought with fear and anxiety, the kind of internal losing battles that every closeted person has faced. The schoolyard was awash with homophobic lad banter, at a time before people realised that “gay” wasn’t a substitute for “stupid”, and that “faggot” was an assault that gives every gay person flashbacks to being beaten bloody on their thirteenth birthday. Or maybe that just happened to me.

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Once, when I was young, I confided in a friend about my sexuality. Later that day, we went to a shopping centre near my house. It was five o’clock in the afternoon, and the sun was beginning to set. There, she encountered some friends — big burly bros, rough around the edges. They jokingly questioned me about hanging out with their lady-friend, because as a thin waif with glasses, bad skin and buckteeth, I was obviously quite the seductress. Without thinking, my friend piped up, “Don’t worry, he’s gay!” At which point their tone completely changed.

“You’re gay, huh?” One laughed, before lurching forward and physically intimidating me. “Why don’t you come over here and suck my dick, then? Suck my dick, you fucking faggot.”

It was the first time I’d ever had someone attack me on the basis of my sexuality. I’ve never ever fled a scene quite so quickly, too afraid to turn around and hear what they were shouting. I stopped going to that shopping centre so late after that.

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We Can Fight Oppression By Celebrating Our Sexuality

Years later, I’m out of the closet. I’m stronger and gayer than ever. I celebrate my sexuality as often as possible — usually via aforementioned gay “dating” apps — as I encourage people across the LGBTIQ+ acronym to celebrate theirs.

The reason I encourage gay people to celebrate their sexuality is because I know that all around the world, in every corner of the globe, gay people, people just like me, have suffered and continue to suffer. They’re buried beneath political lies like those delivered from Eric Abetz, and are relentlessly beaten by the tides of homophobic intolerance.

That same homophobia continues to rear its ugly head in the wake of the Australian same-sex marriage debate. We have neo-Nazis plastering Australian universities with posters calling on people to “get the sodomite filth off our streets”, and despite the plebiscite being officially dead, we still have the prospect of hateful grassroots campaigns coming from tactless groups like Marriage Alliance and the Australian Christian Lobby, which would do unspeakable psychological damage to our queer youth.

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For years, homosexual identity has been repressed and stifled, whether by religion, conservative politics or traditionalism. This is the unifying similarity that gay people share, everywhere, that is at once dismal and empowering. When we march in those magnificent Mardi Gras parades, we’re symbolically “coming out” all over again, and shouting to the world that we are here, we are queer, and we refuse to be silenced and oppressed.

It’s the cause for celebration: that despite all of the troubles and tribulations, and the very real risks you take by choosing to live openly as gay, bi or trans, from the physical risk of holding a partner’s hand in public, to the calculated one you’re unfairly forced to measure when you decide to do so, you’re here and alive, and you continue to survive despite all that has been thrown against you.

While gay people are still being beaten and bashed on the basis of their sexuality, and while politicians like Eric Abetz continue to spout harmful rhetoric and push grievous legislation that would see them suffer more, it’s vital that we continue to celebrate every ‘coming out’ across the queer acronym that there is — from celebrities to children, politicians to civilians.

Heterosexuals like Eric Abetz, and all of his conservative comrades, don’t get to have that celebration. It’s not because I think you’re gross, or because I hate you (although I do wish some of you would stop bashing us). It’s because until you’ve been the boy thumped on his thirteenth birthday for being a queer, or the teenager chased from a shopping centre all due to his sexuality, or the homeless girl pushed onto the street after coming out as a lesbian, or the trans teen pondering taking their own life — you don’t get to celebrate your sexuality. Not like we do.

We’re finally living in a time where the media celebrates our freedom to express who we are. If these celebrations cause you suffering, then I’d wager you haven’t suffered at all.

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Brandon Cook is a writer and photographer from Melbourne. You can find them on Twitter here.

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Feature image via Nan Palmero