Culture

Nick Xenophon Is Forming His Own Political Party Called The Nick Xenophon Team Because, At This Point, Why The Hell Not?

No word yet from Team Australia.

I can never quite tell whether this is genuinely one of the strangest eras in Australia’s political history, or if I’m just now old enough to notice how bad everything is. When I was younger, it seemed like all politicians had their shit together — they were functional adults making big decisions; people who had reasoned and intelligent responses rather than ZINGERS. This was a time when people were well equipped for their jobs and absolutely no one was wearing a cowboy hat.

That being said, I did grow up in New Zealand.

But now, we live in a time when our leaders get into fights over text messages; when comically abhorrent people from the ’90s can just throw their name back in the ring for the sake of it; when our Prime Minister can get destroyed on air by a man who couldn’t keep his shit together interviewing Grumpy Cat; and when one of our biggest newspapers can basically accuse a political party of being The Grinch. This is a time when people thought it would be a great idea to elect Jacqui Lambie.

But now, independent senator Nick Xenophon has taken it upon himself to put an end to all this craziness. “More and more Australians are incredibly disillusioned,” he said. “I think there needs to be an alternative voice from the sensible centre of politics … I’m hoping that we can press the reset button in the new year, that the tone of the place will improve and that we can actually work on solving the nation’s problems.”

YES!

It all makes a whole lot of sense until you hear the name of this revolutionary new party. Like a little boy who TOTALLY DIDN’T WANT TO PLAY WITH THE OTHER KIDS ANYWAY and decided to start his own game that they’re not even allowed to join, Nick Xenophon’s new federal party will be called the Nick Xenophon Team (NXT).

Announced overnight and gearing up for the next federal election, NXT will be a non-partisan group running candidates in both houses of Parliament. Though we don’t yet know who they will be, Xenophon has told The Daily Telegraph he is not considering other independents like Jacqui Lambie, John Madigan or Ricky Muir. The newly established NXT website states candidates will be announced mid-2015, and any interested parties should come forward now to be vetted.

Also listed on the NXT website is a surprisingly decent list of policies including a commitment to reducing greenhouse gas emissions, a stand against metadata collection, and more legislative constraints on the gambling industry — an issue which has been at the heart of Xenophon’s political campaigning since 1997.

All in all, it really doesn’t sound so bad. Xenophon campaigned at the state election under the moniker of ‘The X-Team’ and it worked for him then. It might not be the tone shift Xenophon is shooting for, but how are you supposed to go up against Team Australia if you don’t have a proper sports name?

Just like the documentary about ‘Drawing Dicks On The Herald Sun‘, the Nick Xenophon Team are taking micro-donations now.

xtea

Via The Daily Telegraph.

Photo: Mike Cogh via Flickr CC.