Why You Need To Stop Comparing Yourself To Your Peers
Being at uni can feel like a constant competition between grades, internships and landing that dream post-graduation job.
Comparing yourself to your peers is a trap many of us are guilty of falling into. It’s an enticing trap, its very fucking easy to do and pretty hard to stop. Comparing yourself to others can have its advantages thought – it’s a valuable way to grow and motivate yourself, but it should be 100 per cent be taken with caution.
Here’s why it’s a perfectly fine amount of green on your side of the fence.
Comparison is the thief of joy
Mark Twain said comparison is the death of joy, but I prefer to think of it as stolen. Let’s say you scored a great job, location is amazing, people are amazing, it’s the work you want to be doing and life is a solid 10.
But then, you go to drinks with your mate (they just got a new job too) and their pay is better. Suddenly your new job gets knocked down a few pegs in your mind’s eye and you know what, theirs probably does for them too.
It’s bad mental energy
Comparison usually comes with undertones of jealousy and the ability to knock ya self-esteem down a few. There is no masquerading the bad mental energy it bares. Research has linked comparing yourself to others to feelings like envy, low self-confidence and trust issues. Receiving good feelings from comparing yourself to others, however, comes from sourcing joy from someone else’s misfortune. That is dangerous territory for establishing a healthy mindset.
Their goals are not your goals
Despite the competitive nature of employment and the fact we’re conditioned of to believe we’re all headed for the same path, we’re not.
Comparing your achievements to your peers doesn’t necessarily help you accomplish your goals. It can easily destroy your motivation too, and that doesn’t help you achieve anything, especially not dedicating your time and energy into what you want instead of chasing the same high of that of your peers.
Your goals are not their goals. Comparison may lead you to believe they are your goals and trap you into a life path that isn’t the one to your happiness.
Comparison is a stealer of joy and a stealer of goals! Bastard!
Envy is a curse, admiration is a gift
Comparing yourself to your peers will no doubt create some envy. Envy is a curse. It’s a lump of burning coal in your hand, hurting no one but yourself. Turning that emotion into admiration can have some serious positive effects.
It’s a trait of the successful to turn envy into admiration. Help each other up the ladder and all that. Everyone is better at some things and worse at others. Admiring these differences can assist personal growth in a way that envy can destroy.
It straight up will stop you being happy
If you add all the points mentioned together, it’ll create the sum total of non-happiness. Comparing yourself to your peers will steal your joy, take your goals and leave burn marks in your palms. It may not be easy, but smiling and being happy for those around you doing well will only help you on your own, individual path.