Mayoneggs, Cornballs And Hot Ham Water: Catering Your Arrested Development Weekend

So you’ve followed our detailed how-to, and have sorted out your cheeky Netflix stream of Arrested Development‘s fourth season., and you’ve printed out our customised Arrested Development Do Not Disturb sign to have an unblemished 8.5 hours with Bluth family.

Only one key element remains. What have we always said is the most important thing? The answer to that question is breakfast. But we’re talking about food in general.

We have your viewing party covered, from entrées to mains to desserts and drinks. You can thank us when you’re lying on the floor moaning after making your way through the Skip’s Scramble.

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ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT: THE MENU

ENTREE:

Mayonegg:

1 packet of mayonnaise

1 boiled egg

A delicious snack. Squirt mayonnaise into your mouth, follow with egg. It’s as Ann as the nose on Plain’s face.

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Fried Cheese With Club Sauce:  

4 thick slices of cheese

1/2 cup plain flour

1 egg, beaten

2/3 cup bread crumbs

 

220g mayonnaise

2 tablespoons tomato sauce

2 tablespoons honey

1 teaspoon lemon juice

1 teaspoon vinegar

1 teaspoon curry powder

1 splash tabasco sauce

1 sprig tarragon

2 tablespoons finely-chopped onion

Mix all sauce ingredients in food processor until smooth. Coat cheese slices in flour, egg and breadcrumbs, adding salt to taste, and then cook in oil.

Club Sauce can also be served with popcorn shrimp or chicken fingers. It’s so good, it will bring on vertigo.

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Cornballs:

250g corn kernels

6 scallions

1 green chili pepper

1 teaspoon hot chili powder

4 tablespoons cornmeal

1 sprig coriander

1 egg, beaten

Finely chop the scallions and the chili, then mix in the corn, chili powder and egg, along with salt to taste. Add in the cornmeal and mix thoroughly, setting aside for a few minutes. Deep fry in The Cornballer, and try not to burn yourself like you do EVERY DAMN TIME.

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Curly fries:

1 bag of store-bought curly fries

Cook as per packet instructions. Just be careful, as curly fries are pool food, and your system may not be used to them.

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MAINS

 

Skip’s Scramble:

1/2 dozen eggs

1 bacon & egg McMuffin

2 English muffins

2 hash browns

2 hotcakes with butter and syrup

1 sausage & egg McMuffin

1 sausage McMuffin

The original Skip’s Scramble contains every item on the menu at Skip Church’s Bistro, tossed in a large pan and cooked with eggs. Frankly, cooking all that breakfast food is a lot of work, so instead we’ve substituted every item on the McDonald’s Breakfast Menu. Bring ‘em in, boys!

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Hot Ham Water:

450g premium canned ham

2l water

Boil water in saucepan, add canned ham. It’s so watery … and yet there’s a smack of ham to it!

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Stew:

4 cups chicken broth

1 ham bone with meat attached

1 potato

Throw the ham bone in a pot with some broth and the potato. If you don’t have those things handy, some raw veggies, bacon and a Cup-A-Soup will also do the job.

Baby, you’ve got a stew goin’.

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A Banger In The Mouth:

6 large potatoes, washed, peeled and diced

40g butter

125ml milk

4 sausages

Cover potatoes and bring to the boil over high heat, then uncover and cook for 15 minutes. Drain potatoes, then return to pan, and mash through butter and milk. Serve with sausages.

 

Who’d like a banger in the mouth?

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DESSERT:

 

A Bluth Frozen Banana:

8 bananas

8 popsicle sticks

400g dark chocolate

400g milk chocolate

Crushed peanuts to serve

Insert popsicle sticks into peeled bananas and freeze overnight. Melt chocolate in double boiler, and smear on each banana with the flat of a knife. Sprinkle peanuts all over then leave for a minute to set.

For the ultimate indulgence, try the GOB – a frozen banana with double the chocolate and nuts, and two sticks.

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A Candy Bar:

1 candy bar, brand of your choosing

Give the candy bar to a friend or relative, or if you choose, withhold it. Look at you, getting off.

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Ice Cream Sandwiches:

1 stick unsalted butter

1/2 cup sugar

1 egg

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup plain flour

1/4 cup cocoa

1 litre vanilla ice cream

Preheat oven to 180, line and grease a 38cm baking sheet. Beat together butter and sugar until combined. Beat in egg, vanilla and salt. Finally, beat in flour and cocoa and mix until smooth. Spread in baking pan and bake for 10 minutes or until dry. Leave to cool.

Cut biscuit in half. Spread one half with softened ice cream, and then top with remaining half. Return to pan and wrap tightly in glad wrap. Freeze for two hours or until firm. Cut into rectangles and then have a love affair with an ice cream sandwich.

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Cookies:

125g dark chocolate

150g flour

30g cocoa

1 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

125g butter

75g brown sugar

50g white sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1 egg

350g chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 170. Melt chocolate in a double boiler. Beat butter and sugar together, then add melted chocolate. Beat in remaining the vanilla extract and egg, then remaining dried ingredients. Finally, stir in chocolate chips.

Scoop into 12 equal portions and cook for approximately 20 minutes. Leave to cool, and your whole house will smell like cookies!

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DRINKS:

 

Cloudmir Vodka:

 

If Cloudmir isn’t available, any brand will do. Just remember that you have to drink it once it’s open or it goes bad.

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Juice Boxes:

You can have any flavour you like. Hell, just stick a straw in a box of wine if that’s how you like to party. Just have a hit of one, brother.

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Margaritas: 

30ml tequila

30ml Cointreau

30ml lime juice

Pour ingredients into your mouth, then drink. SPRING BREAK! WOO!

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Ice:

This is probably the most important one. You can’t have a party without ice.