‘Masked Singer Australia’ Recap: Yep, This Show Is Still Going
We know who everyone is but the show! just! keeps! going!
If you were a Masked Singer, what would your clues be?
Mine would be the German flag alluding to “moving to Berlin” for five months in February 2020, and also anti-depressants. I guess there would be lots of drug references too, because of Junkee.
In short, no one would ever work it out, because that describes every person with a DIY haircut I’ve ever met.
It’s a shame these clues aren’t a bit more difficult, though maybe I’m just extremely online and people who don’t read 1000 tweets a minute have no idea that Frillneck is Eddie Perfect or that Oatly is now cancelled and we have to find a new ethical Oat milk (again, my clues could be anyone with an Instagram handle like @oatmilk_lil_bitch69, which is everyone I’ve ever matched with on Tinder).
Anyway this show is still going! I think there are three episodes left after this, but given they haven’t filmed the finale yet due to the COVID shut down, maybe we will never be free?
Dictator Dan, I must thank you, this prison is my beautiful home, and this recap is my beautiful wife. I never want to leave.
Frillneck
Did I already make a Suspiria reference last week? Anyway this is all very Suspiria.
There were some Orville Peck-lites in the background, aka some men with cowboy hats and fringed masks, which distracted me completely and I missed the song. It’s a cute homage to the best, hottest Masked Singer out. Haw-ye.
Regardless, the clues point towards Eddie Perfect’s ‘patriotic’ love for writing musicals about Australian history, and his equal love for his babies also references his many shows.
Meanwhile, Jackie O guesses Tim Minchin and I’m just so glad it’s not him, my heart really couldn’t take his Captain Jack Sparrow energy.
I would like this show to end.
Bushranger
Bonnie Anderson has a song called ‘Rodeo’ and also has been on a singing competition before, so the ‘not the first time at the Rodeo’ clue works in two ways. Wow!
Hughsey circumvents a creepy compliment in the last moment when he says he wants to put a letter in her slot “…saying well done”, and honestly, I was really proud of him. That’s growth.
Hughsey revoking his horny card, for now.
She sings ‘Motivation’ by Normani, and Dannii guesses it’s her ex-Fifth Harmony bandmate Camila Cabello which, uh, for anyone who knows 5H (gay men), you would know Camila would simply not show Normani any act of kindness.
She’s also far too busy being in a relationship with Shawn Mendes — have you streamed ‘Señorita’ recently, or have you not seen photos of them walking very slowly down streets with their masks on? Because they’re very in love!
Bonnie Anderson is a really great singer, and ‘Motivation’ was one of last year’s best pop songs. Bonnie Anderson should maybe be really successful? Maybe this is why she’s on Masked Singer — I would definitely stream her next single at least once or twice! That’s more than I can say about ‘Señorita’.
Queen
Queen’s performances are easily the best part of the show each week.
Kate Miller-Heidke remains too good for this show: her rendition of ‘Shake It Off’ breathed new life into a song that’s been bludgeoned to death. And her granddad was a leading member of Australia’s communist party? Viewers of Masked Singer Australia unite!
Hughsey catches the reference to Muriel’s Wedding, but goes with Toni Collette instead of KMH, who wrote the music for the recent musical adaptation. We forgive him, because he cites United States Of Tara — further proof that Hughsey’s taste knows no bounds.
Puppet
Big green car… hmm, couldn’t be a Wiggle then… unless.. the car is green because the Puppet was haunted by the red, reminding him of all the bloodshed in his past…
I need Puppet to leave, or run into the audience and take a knife to the stuffed animals they’ve littered around in place of an audience. One or the other, buddy: I can’t deal with this tension anymore, like we’re stuck in the first 20 minutes of a horror film with no murderous release in sight.
Anyway the reference to Pupper having a partner that’s millions of years old is a reference to Dorothy the Dinosaur, who was once Lauren Hannaford, who is Red Wiggle Simon Pryce’s wife. And I need her to come collect him!
Kitten
This image makes me sad.
Sometimes I feel like an arrogant dick despairing Australia’s underfunded and undersupported TV and film landscape, but then something happens like tonight, where a clue revolved around Julia Morris once clogging her trailer toilet on-set of I’m A Celebrity... from doing too big of a shit. Then I realise we’re doing fine, actually.
We also learn that Lindsay Lohan may be using black magic to influence the set, as at one point she seemingly speaks through Urzila.
Her line about just wanting someone to remember her name when she dies is peak Lohan energy, and I miss her so much.
Where is the deep and terribly hidden well of sadness underneath this season? I crave the well: on finale night, we will drink its sludge and be born anew. The sludge will be my 84 seaweed snacks, but unlike Jackie O, I will balloon into higher consciousness,
Cactus
Lucy Durack! Who knew!
Dannii Minogue correctly guesses this is Lucy Durack because of the way she’s standing, having looked up photos of how Durack stands and compares the two.
Imagine caring about anything that much! That’s why she’s on the big bucks (they pay her by references to her sister).
I know the ‘voting panel’ isn’t actually real, but I cannot believe that Cactus is going home when Puppet is right there. The lack of taste coming off Australia’s top 100 Masked Singer fans? I could believe it…
When she unmasked, she looked so joyous. I’m glad she’s having fun! We all deserve fun.
Tomorrow is another episode, and Kate Miller-Heidke’s new album is out this Friday. That’s just maths.
Masked Singer Australia is on Channel 10 each Monday and Tuesday at 7.30pm AEST, and available to stream on 10Play.
Jared Richards is a staff writer at Junkee, and on Twitter.