‘Masked Singer Australia’ S1E4 Recap: The One Where Rhino And Osher End Toxic Masculinity
Lindsay Lohan guessing Unicorn is Stevie Nicks has ruined us.
Because of Masked Singer Australia, in my sleuthing I’ve learnt that Kate Ceberano is a scientologist; Ernie Dingo’s Wikipedia makes a bizarre un-cited claim his last name is a reference to Azaria Chamberlain; and that Angela Bishop had a cameo on The Bold & The Beautiful. But nothing compares to E4’s revelation that Lindsay Lohan once met Pope Benedict XVI.
We can’t fact-check it: when you search LiLo and pope variations, no meeting pops up, though you do see that she’s repeatedly referenced various popes on social media. In 2013, she tweeted, “the Vatican needs me” — we guess she wanted to suss out Paul John II before, years down the line, she’d post a picture of him holding her upcoming comeback single ‘Xanax’ on Instagram. She was playing the long game.
As is this show: Masked Singer Australia is only just beginning, and we’re wondering how they’ll keep things feeling fresh. It’s still oddly satisfying to watch the judges try to crack the clues (even if some are more interested in cracking onto the costumes), even if we’re pretty confident we’ve got most identities locked in.
While in E3’s recap I theorised they are all La Toya Jackson, closer research has revealed that only 7 of the remaining singers are La Toya. I apologise.
As tipped off by this tweet, the other masked singer is acclaimed Irish novelist and voice of a generation Sally Rooney, who tried to throw us off the scent by appearing on the most Normal Person-targeted show ever. But what else does her writing do other than remove the mask of the millennial, articulating a generational malaise without blaming it on avocado toast and phones, but too much?
masked singer Please be sally rooney
— jenny (@jennychangnope) September 23, 2019
Nazeem Hussain joins the panel this week, and clearly hasn’t read Conversations With Friends, because all the nods to Francis and Bobby fly over his head.
A lot of this show’s audience probably aren’t as extremely online as me, and aren’t thinking of dissecting every single clue as it happens, one eye on a Twitter feed as the show airs. It’s probably a better way to watch — and a definite way to ensure interest over time — but for now, we’re still invested.
Let’s unmask these singers, baby.
Last week, we landed on Neighbours star Bonnie Anderson as Spider’s likely, if not boring, reveal, but thankfully, this epsiode points us in different directions.
Before singing AC/DC’s ‘Long Way To The Top…’, Spider drops some hints about exercising, calling a fireman but not ‘burning’, and being ‘exotic’, which is always a regretful word.
The pictures of Jennifer Aniston and the Pope next to a bra are throwing the judges off, but Jackie O lands where I do: Jessica Mauboy, who has been rumoured to be on the show since it was announced.
While last week we put her as a maybe for Lion (Kate Ceberano, we’re pretty sure), comparing some of the notes of this performance to her recent single ‘Sunday’ seem to match — Mauboy and Spider reach high in the same way. Plus, one of her first songs was ‘Burn’, though the lyrics make reference to doctors, not firefighters (which yes, unfortunately makes it sound like a song about contracting an STI).
Then again, Jackie O notes Spider shares some moves with Dami Im, who is a devout Christian and brands herself as a ‘foodie’, which gives context to the Pope (kind of, we don’t think she’s Catholic), and the kitchen setting during the clues video.
And the line about exercising muscles most don’t even think of could refer to either Im or Mauboy’s vocal chops. But as for Jennifer Aniston? Well, Mauboy was made a ‘Friend Of Australia’ last year. It’s a long-bow, but that’s pretty standard by now.
Monster’s performance featured a slideshow of stock images of heterosexual people in love, then of a Tinder-esque app for monsters, ‘Monstergram’, which also features the Facebook like button and encourages you to swipe left, not right, on users. Monster’s world is strange and scary.
Last week, we landed on The Project host Gorgi Coghlan because she studied biology, did dressage as a kid and changed careers. Everything continues to connect, with clues honing in on her being a ‘shapeshifter’, aka career switcher, and a former scientist.
Then there’s the mention of her being the voice behind the panel — The Project, no? — and being a bit country and glam: Coghlan dresses up on TV, but grew up on a sheep farm. A clue about weight mattering more than height circles back to dressage, but the final nail in the coffin is the number 31 flashing in her eye: Coghlan started her TV career working on Melbourne community station Channel 31.
The only clue that doesn’t quite fit is about ageing weirdly, which points towards bung plastic surgery. As far as we know, Coghlan hasn’t spoken about getting work done.
Unicorn was either Deni Hines or Angela Bishop: this week has made it clear it’s the former.
Clues about singing in the background sent the judges into a girl group direction, but it’s likely a reference to Hines’ early work as a touring singer with Kylie Minogue, and then recording with Rockmelons. Hines wasn’t in the band, but she sung on two of their biggest hits, ‘Ain’t No Sunshine’ and ‘That Word (L.O.V.E.)’, before going on her own.
The early days were rocky = the Rockmelons = Deni Hines. Plus it sounds exactly like her #MaskedSingerAU
— cameron adams (@cameron_adams) October 1, 2019
The voice is there, as are the references to diva behaviour, plus we know from her stint on Celebrity Apprentice Australia that she’s not shy of reality TV.
Lohan has two cracks at guesses: Mahalia Barnes, which beats the hell out of Hussain’s stab at Sophie Monk (she, uh, does not have the range), and Stevie Nicks.
We landed on Grant Denyer last time, and that could be right? He’s roamed the country back when he was Sunrise‘s weather man and loves racing, but he hasn’t had run ins with the law, unless an issue with prescription pills counts.
Adam Brand is another name being thrown around: a Perth born (another clue) country singer who loves racing and is in a band called ‘the outlaws’. But also, who…. cares…. the men, besides Millsy, are so boring…
It takes a real lack of skill to ruin Flo Rida’s ‘Low’, but Rhino did it. Tripping through lines, yelling lyrics off-time and out-of-key, Rhino really shot himself in the foot here. Convinced that a nemesis at C10 engineered this performance purely to destroy me. And guess what? It worked.
It was Wendell Sailor, and that’s perfectly fine. Like Nikki Webster, he did it for his kids too, and that’s cute or whatever. Can you tell I just want to get rid of the sport-stars (Sorry! I am gay)?
Eight singers — and very little of my brain — remain. See you all next Monday.
Masked Singer Australia airs on Channel 10/Win at 7.30pm Mondays and Tuesdays, and is available to stream on 10 Play.
Jared Richards is a staff writer at Junkee, and will be streaming Alien on Spotify. Follow him on Twitter.