Twitter Is Roasting Bad Male Authors And Their Crappy Writing
"And of course, my boobs."
The world is full of bad writers, and a huge portion of them are dudes. It’s just science! One thing that crappy male authors are particularly guilty of doing is describing women incredibly badly.
While men writing incredibly lazy, sexist and anatomically-incorrect descriptions of women in novels is something of an evergreen issue, this particular batch of mockery sprung up from a particular tweet.
Author Gwen C. Katz posted an incredibly interesting example of a male writer convinced that he had written an ‘authentic female protagonist’.
A male author is insisting that he is living proof that it's possible for a male author to write an authentic female protagonist.
Here's a quote from his first page. pic.twitter.com/f6d5bN2EHq
— Gwen C. Katz (@gwenckatz) March 30, 2018
Women found the weird focus on curves and tight pants some particular highlights of the authenticity in his excerpt. Katz continued to post screenshots from the author’s book, including such believable lines as “and of course, my boobs.”
Podcaster @whitneyarner decided that a good round of online mocking was the answer to it all, and set up a new internet challenge asking people to describe themselves like a male author would.
new twitter challenge: describe yourself like a male author would
— Jonathan Franzia (@whitneyarner) April 1, 2018
The results are both apt and delightfully mean.
I had big honking teeters, just enormous bosoms, and I thought about them constantly as I walked down the street, using my legs (thick, with big shapely calves), but never not thinking about my enormo honkers, https://t.co/UaCQBchchL
— Talia Lavin (@chick_in_kiev) April 1, 2018
her radiant brown skin absorbed the suns rays, only, this piece of chocolate did not melt. she laughed joyously, her bountiful cha cha bingos bouncing beautifully atop her chest—a laugh her enslaved ancestors would have been pleased to hear. boobily, she tittied her way to t https://t.co/4s7UbNbV6t
— ace ? (@aceduggar) April 2, 2018
BOOBILY SHE TITTIED HER WAY.
She was angry but made up for it by having breasts. https://t.co/jSc3folbVR
— Alice Kinsella (@AliceEKinsella) April 1, 2018
"She sashayed toward me, her 32 legs moving in unison. As I stood, transfixed, she unhinged her jaw, revealing hundreds of dagger-sharp teeth.
With an unholy screech, she tore my head from my body. Then she turned and slinked off into the sewer from whence she came." https://t.co/pW7ESGZQp9— Samantha @ PAX East (@StillNotSam) April 2, 2018
Teeth studded her eyelids, the twisted geometry of her limbs. If there were breasts, any vestige of femininity, he couldn't see them. Not under the slithering, static hiss of what he'd imagined was skin.. She gurgled. He'd remember the noise forever. https://t.co/xFFPmrXwfd
— Cassandra Khaw (@casskhaw) April 2, 2018
Man-authors, I hope you’re taking notes.