Lindsay Lohan Has Only Done Cocaine “Maybe Four Or Five Times”

And other things we learnt during yesterday's interview with Piers Morgan.

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As you may already know, Lindsay Lohan is heading to rehab for three months (David Letterman made a whole bunch of jokes about it not too long ago). You’d think you’d wanna spend your remaining free time with your family or pets, but instead, Lindsay opted to sit-down for a revealing interview with big-headed Piers Morgan for the UK’s Daily Mail. (I’m not saying Piers Morgan’s pompous — although he may well be — I’m just saying he literally has a big head, a big ol’ blockhead like a mini refrigerator fixed atop his neck, like you could flip the top open and pull out a cold pale ale).

Piers’s probing questions (eg: “When did you start going off the rails?”) were met by a very open Lohan who, according to Morgan, “was wearing  bright striped pyjamas, smoking a cigarette and talking very fast.” What followed was a revealing exchange in which Lindsay discussed her reported drug use, her doubts about rehab, and her deadshit dad. Or, as Morgan put it, “We sat outside, and for the next 90 minutes, she unburdened herself to me.” Woah, take it easy, Piers. Anyway, here are some things we learned…


1. Her father, Michael, seems like a real deadshit:

“Whenever I do try to bring him back into my life, he creates chaos for me and uses it to his advantage. I was never afraid of him, but my younger siblings (her sister Ali, 19, and brothers Michael, 25, and Dakota ‘Cody’, 16) were terrified… He threw a TV remote at my brother’s head. That was pretty scary.”

2. She doesn’t do that many drugs:

“Everyone thinks I’ve done [cocaine] so many times. But I’ve only done it maybe four or five times in my life. I don’t like it. It reminds me of my dad. I took it four times in a period from about the age of 20 to 23, and I got caught twice.” Geez, those are some bad odds.

“I’ve never taken heroin either, never injected myself with anything, never done LSD. Those things all scare me,” she continued, before revealing her preferred narcotics. “Pot, obviously. And ecstasy. I liked  that better than the others (giggles). I didn’t drink on it, so I was just chilling.”

We guess this really was talcum powder, then?

We guess this really was talcum powder, then?

3. She thinks, like, a trip to Bangladesh would probably be more useful than another stint in rehab:

“I’ve been court-ordered to do it six times. I could write the book on rehab. Constantly sending me to rehab is pointless. The first few times I was court-ordered to rehab it was like a joke, like killing time… I think there are other things I could do instead of going to  a rehab centre that would benefit  me more. The best thing they could  do for me would be to make me go abroad to different countries and work with children.”

4. There was that time she caught her dad cheating on her mum at her grandma’s house:

“He’d disappeared for five days, so I asked Mum if we could go to my grandmother’s house and see if he was there. I got out of the car when we arrived and I saw him diving into the pool with some woman. So I ran into the house and checked her ID to see who she was. That woman was the one he had a secret child with…”.

5. She was just experimenting during that whole thing with Samantha Ronson: 

“Do you think you’re bisexual?”, asked Morgan, quite sensitively. “Not really,” replied Lindsay. “I like being in a relationship with a guy. But there’s something just different about it with a woman. When I was with Samantha (Ronson), I didn’t want to leave, because I didn’t want to be alone. It was very toxic. And her family controlled anything she did… I know I’m straight. I have made out with girls before, and I had a relationship with a girl. But I think I needed to experience that and I think I was looking for something different.”


6. A few kindly Hollywood folks have given her advice:  

“Heath Ledger told me to give up [drinking] for a year because he’d just done that, and so I did and it wasn’t a problem for me. I didn’t miss it, I felt good.”

Meryl Streep was nice. She just advised me on my acting and what I needed to do differently, and she told me I needed to go back to live with my mum for a while. [But] I couldn’t by then. I wasn’t allowed to leave the state of California because of the court orders.”

“Jamie Lee Curtis was very kind to me, too. She also told me to listen to good advice and to get rid of the hangers-on.”

7. Oh, and there are all those other drugs she takes that she forgot to mention earlier:

Lindsay described the last time she took drugs as “probably a year ago… some pot. But I’m not a stoner.”

“I have severe ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). I can’t stand still. So I take Adderall (a prescription drug) for that, it calms me. I know people who take it to stay up, or girls who take it to supposedly stay slim because it kills your appetite. But I eat all the time. I just take it to stay calm. It works well for me. [Also] Trazodone (a tranquilliser) if I’ve been travelling and can’t sleep from  jet lag. But in small doses, I’m not a pill-popper.”

8. And finally, she’s not a crazy drug addict, she’s just bad with timing, guys:

“Everyone thinks I’m this crazy drug addict who shows up late to everything and behaves so badly. But I’m not. I’m bad with timing. I always panic when people rush me. I’m like, ‘I’ll be there half an hour early if you just give me my space and don’t call me every five seconds’.”


So, there you go. I think we all understand Lindsay a little bit better now. Thanks Piers Morgan.