Everyone Is Sharing Their Landlord Horror Stories And I Can Smell The Black Mould From Here

If you’re old enough to live out of home and didn’t accidentally trip over half a million dollars the day you turned 18 — chances are you’ve lived in a rental property before, and you’ve probably had at least one awful landlord.

The entire concept of having to pay somebody to live in a house that they’re not even using and is otherwise gathering dust is pretty flawed to begin with, but that’s capitalism, baby! However, the situation gets even direr if you happen to move into a property with a landlord who resembles Satan himself.

Personally, I am in the process of moving out of a rental property and have been blessed with a non-shit landlord for the last year or so. But make no mistake, this has been an absolute fluke and today, I have been reminded of that fact.

Writer Liz Duck-Chong took to Twitter to ask for landlord horror stories and hooooo boy, she got them.

I will regret this but I must know your most cooked landlord stories.

— #2 liz (@lizduckchong) February 28, 2022

Warning, the rest of this article will have you ready to eat the rich — or at least your landlord.

For starters, we’ve got landlords who simply don’t understand basic hygiene.

sewage bubbling into backyard…. their solution… to hand us a black and gold $1 bottle of disenfectant

— Grace (@birdie_sunshine) February 28, 2022

Not to mention this landlord, who simply has no concept of their own financial privilege in a pandemic.

we had a landlord who tried to increase our rent on the basis of the financial situation HE was facing in the early months of the pandemic

— shut up, xavier (@XavierRN) February 28, 2022

Or during renovations.

I knew a landlord who finally had to replace the kitchen and bathroom so the tenants had to find other accommodation for a couple of weeks and she still wanted to charge them rent for those weeks that they were not in the house.

— Kate Lee (@carbon_nada) February 28, 2022

Or during a hurricane.

During hurricane Irene, a tree branch fell on the roof. Thankfully no one was hurt. Landlord said the rent was double to cover the cost of repair and wanted the next month’s rent in advance. When we objected, he said the repairs wouldn’t be done until the money was paid.

— Pat Margaça (@patmargaca) February 28, 2022

There isn’t really a good way to preface the following example, other than to say: what the fuck?

Called me a month after I’d left to try and get more money for cleaning because they’d steamed the carpets and then immediately shut the place up for a month in summer, so that all that sun could work with the still-damp carpets and turn the entire place into a mould wonderland

— Tim (non-spooky, non-Halloween version) (@burgotastic) February 28, 2022

The same can be said about this alleged landlord experience.

Landlord implied to my flatmate she could only keep the stray kitten she adopted in exchange for sexual favours https://t.co/JfPnT4jih7

— land_lord_ally (@ljgillin) February 28, 2022

Meanwhile, it is unclear if this landlord was renting out his house or starting a cult.

This was a sharehouse I didn’t move into. At the inspection turned out the landlord also lived there, had all the rooms numbered and insisted everyone call him The Captain.

— Pat Simons (@prrsimons) February 28, 2022

Personally, I have never rented a furnished property — so I don’t know the ins and outs of how it all works — but something about this situation feels like it is breaching some sort of rental laws.

It was like I was living *with them* but remotely & paying them for the pleasure

— Eileen Chong 张奕霖 (@eileenchongpoet) February 28, 2022

Oh, and we simply can’t forget the landlord who told their tenant to keep a baseball bat by the bed if they were so concerned about security.

Moving day into new house. Arrive at house. Glass-panelled front door’s top panel is missing. One can simply reach one’s arm in and unlock the door from inside. When asked, landlord advises me to simply keep a baseball bat by my bed if security is such a concern.

— Aurea (@AureaGaily) February 28, 2022