Music

Is Lana Del Rey’s ‘Norman Fucking Rockwell!’ Just One Big Astrology Chart?

We've matched every song to its respective star sign, and the results don't lie.

Lana Del Rey Astrology Norman Rockwell photo

There’s just something about Lana Del Rey.

Whether you’re fascinated by the dichotomy between Lizzie Grant the Civilian and Lana the Superstar, or enamoured with the singer’s patriotic iconography, or just see yourself reflected in her chaotic energy, you’re not alone in your obsession.

The recent release of her sixth studio album, Norman Fucking Rockwell!, sees Lana at her deepest. The simplicity and profundity of what she announces as ‘The Next Best American Record’ succeeds — not only because of the parallels drawn between the death of the American dream and her own despair, but because Lana Del Rey is a Cancer.

On a Thursday afternoon in June, Lana tweeted her birth time to astrologer Randon Rosenbaum. Whether you’re an astrology expert or a casual sun sign observer, you know someone’s birth time is the key to unlocking someone’s deepest desires, motivations, and strengths — in this case, it was Lana’s real identity.

For years people thought the budding poet was a Gemini. Born on the Gemini/Cancer cusp, her birth time was once thought to be 2:46 am on June 21, which would make her an air sign. But Lana’s unexpected Tweet revealed that she was, in fact, a watery maternal crab — otherwise known as a Cancer.

While she once infamously sported a Gemini necklace, she’s dropped quite a few crab hints on the way. She penned a poem for Instagram, poking fun at a Cancer stereotype with the line, “I’m the crying crustacean.” And on Lust For Life she mentions the tropic of Cancer on ‘Tomorrow Never Came’.

The internet erupted accordingly — or, at least, the section of the internet which deals with Lana Del Rey and astrology, which is a fairly large section. Her subsequent album Norman Fucking Rockwell! was a Cancer masterpiece, its Hollywood vignettes sprawled across myriad emotions.

Since the best thing about astrology is the way it connects us all while allowing ourselves to be a little self-indulgent, we decided to astrologically analyse every song on the album — dive in.


Aries (March 21 — April 19)

‘Hope Is a Dangerous Thing for a Woman Like Me To Have — But I Have It’

The last song on NFR! embodies everything about the first sign of the zodiac. Strong-headed, wildly emotional, with their hearts worn proudly on their sleeves (for the most part) Aries are a force to be reckoned with.

It’s easy to assume these rams are unemotional but that’s only because these social butterflies make a valiant effort to separate their public image with their dark and stormy feelings. When they’re down, a glimmer of hope is all they need to remind them that they’re ready to be more powerful than ever before.

Aries moment: “Don’t ask if I’m happy, you know that I’m not/But at best, I can say I’m not sad/’Cause hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have.”


Taurus (April 20 — May 20)

‘Norman Fucking Rockwell’

Taureans indulge in the finer things in life, whether that be culinary delights, designer shoes, or invaluable art. Which makes an ode to Norman Rockwell, an American author, painter, and illustrator whose work transfixed on the concept of the American Dream, a no-brainer.

They’re also known to be the best lovers out of all 12 signs — but prioritising others needs often means they’re unlikely to get this energy in return, leaving Taureans high and dry. The opening line of the title track will probably ring with uncomfortable familiarity for years.

Taurus moment: “Goddamn, man-child/You fucked me so good that I almost said ‘I love you’/You’re fun and you’re wild/But you don’t know the half of the shit that you put me through.”


Gemini (May 21 — June 20)

‘How To Disappear’

Geminis dutifully claimed Lana as one of their own for almost half a decade, so the recent Cancer revelation likely comes as a blow. Maybe it’s best you lose yourself in some stylised imagery of the Californian sun, crashing waves, and a strong shoulder to cry on to get you through this.

Gemini moment: “Haven’t seen you ’round here lately/All of the guys tell me lies, but you don’t/You just crack another beer/And pretend that you’re still here.”


Cancer (June 21 — July 22)

‘F*** It I Love You’

My emotional crustacean friends, this is the song that will make you cry like a baby, but you don’t mind at all. Just like the crab, Cancers are hard on the outside and soft, gooey, and buttery on the inside.

You love hard, you protect your loved ones even harder, and when all is said and done, you just want to curl up on the couch and let all the emotion out. Repressing emotions is a foreign concept, making these sensitive crabs capable of the kind of all-encompassing love that spans ballads, lullabies, and powdery Lana Del Rey songs.

Cancer moment: “Dream a little dream of me/Make me into something sweet/Turn the radio on, dancing to a pop song/Fuck it, I love you.”


Leo (July 23 — August 22)

‘The Next Best American Record’

‘The Greatest’

Lana carries herself with a sense of confidence that is somewhere between full-blown braggadocio and a self-destructive spiral, not unlike that of Leos. Represented by the proud lion, Leos might be turned off by Lana’s self-destructive references to Sylvia Plath but its the moments within ‘The Next Best American Record’ and ‘The Greatest’ where they see themselves reflected in the star.

You could confuse Leos’ need to see themselves in the art they consume as egotistical but as the performers of the zodiac, they prefer people with stage presence who revel in their talent. When Lana is her most confident, Leos are their most enthralled.

Leo moment: “We were so obsessed with writing the next best American record/’Cause we were just that good/It was just that good.”


Virgo (August 23 — September 22)

‘Venice Bitch’

I’ve never met a Virgo that minces their words and on ‘Venice Bitch’ Lana is unequivocally forthright. Virgos can seem cutthroat, critical, and meticulous but that’s because they hold themselves to an even higher standard than that of what they expect from others.

“I’m fresh out of fucks forever” is a sentiment most Virgos were born with, but this is why we love them. But, and hear me out, this earth sign could use a little time to relax. Put down the spreadsheets and maybe give that hot young thing’s number you’ve been saving for a rainy day. After all, you deserve it.

Virgo moment: “Fresh out of fucks forever/Tryin’ to be stronger for you Ice cream, ice queen…You write, I tour, we make it work/You’re beautiful and I’m insane.”


Libra (September 23 — October 22)

‘California’

Libras are always making an effort to achieve balance, harmony, and aesthetically beautiful bathrooms. Their romantic, airy energy has them lusting after people, memories, and even places.

Lana’s ode to California is riddled with bittersweet moments, but regret and heartbreak fall away for her devotion to the place she feels whole. This is her American love story. It’s not perfect, she’s weighed up the pros and cons, but just like a Libra would, Lana is loyal to the place that satisfies her Cancerian nostalgia.

Libra moment: “If you come back to California, you should just hit me up/We’ll do whatever you want, travel wherever how far/We’ll hit up all the old places/We’ll have a party, we’ll dance ’til dawn.”


Scorpio (October 23 — November 22)

‘Doin’ Time’

Lana’s broody cover of Sublime’s ‘Doin’ Time’ grapples with intensity, toxicity, and the dark side of relationships. Scorpios are drawn to birth, death, transformation, and bonding at the deepest level, so when things get complicated, something inside them comes alive.

In love, this water sign is dramatic, obsessive, and deeply seductive. While this can cause a relationship to crash and burn, the right person can temper this overwhelming passion. Scorpios will stare into the abyss and smile because they’re just astrologically designed that way.

Scorpio moment: “Me and my girl, we got this relationship/I love her so bad, but she treats me like shit/On lockdown, like a penitentiary/She spreads her lovin’ all over/And when she gets home, there’s none left for me.”


Sagittarius (November 23 — December 21)

‘Bartender’

Smart, resourceful, spontaneous, and ultimately positive, Sagittarians have a powerful presence. But above all, they need their freedom. Mellifluous from beginning to end, this song is a non-committal dedication to a lover Lana only refers to as her ‘Bartender.’

This fire sign isn’t exactly fickle, but they do love to run with whatever feeling they wake up with. Strong believers in fate, Sagittarians just wants to indulge in all the best moments life has to offer — and they don’t want to compromise. ‘Bartender’ could be for anyone at any moment, and what Sagittarius doesn’t love a cryptic one-size-fits-all love song.

Sagittarius moment: “I’m just tryna keep my love alive/With my bartender, hold me all night/Bartender, our love’s alive/Baby, remember, I’m not drinking wine/But that Cherry Coke you serve is fine/And our love’s sweet enough on the vine.”


Capricorn (December 23 — January 19)

‘Cinnamon Girl’

Capricorns love to work hard and play even harder, but when it comes to talking about their feelings they don’t know where to start. It’s hard for them to let go and enjoy relationships because they have one eye on the person they like and the other on their LinkedIn profile.

But underneath this tough exterior, they just want to be loved, they’re just terrified of being hurt. Gifted with the memory of an elephant for times they’ve been wronged, this keeps them from opening up to people which make these goats appear cold, boring, and reserved. ‘Cinnamon Girl’ sees an apprehensive Lana reckon with the prospect of being hurt, even though she’s hoping to be nurtured. It’s okay to cry a little Capricorn, we won’t tell anyone.

Capricorn moment: “There’s things I wanna say to you, but I’ll just let you live/Like if you hold me without hurting me/You’ll be the first who ever did.”


Aquarius (January 20 — February 18)

‘Happiness Is A Butterfly’

So by now, you’ve probably realized that Lana has the ability to evoke the tender side of every sign, but when it comes to Aquarians, that’s not the case. Instead, she encourages their eccentric nature with the most atypical Del Rey moments of the record.

While most Aquarians often feel like an outcast, ‘Happiness Is A Butterfly’ might be some comfort music for the soul. The song is inspired by American novelist Nathaniel Hawthorne, who once wrote: “Happiness is a butterfly, which when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” You might feel like you don’t fit in, but there’s always a place for you on this album.

Aquarius moment: “If he’s a serial killer, then what’s the worst/That can happen to a girl who’s already hurt?/I’m already hurt If he’s as bad as they say, then I guess I’m cursed.”


Pisces (February 19 — March 20)

‘Love Song’

‘Mariners Apartment Complex’

The tortured artist, Pisces are everything their fellow water signs are without the hard shell. What you see is what you get and to say they wear their heart on their sleeves would be a severe understatement.

They say that Pisces have lived 11 lives lifes prior to this one, which is why they feel so deeply. And it may just be true since the12th and final sign of the zodiac has an innate ability to channel their heightened emotions and turn it into art. Find me a Pisces that isn’t an artist, I’ll wait. While ‘Love Song’ is an obvious Pisces choice, it’s ‘Mariners Apartment Complex’ that surmises this water sign’s heart.

Pisces moment: “You took my sadness out of context/At the Mariners Apartment Complex/I ain’t no candle in the wind I’m the board, the lightning, the thunder/Kind of girl who’s gonna make you wonder/Who you are and who you’ve been.”


Kish Lal is a writer and critic based in New York City. She is on Twitter