Politics

Kevin Rudd Declares Himself The “Global Handball King”, Challenges Handball Fans To Take Him On

"Be very good, and get ready...to die." 

Kevin Rudd handball

If you’ve been wondering what former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd is up to these days, wonder no more. In a bizarre video posted to social media, Rudd has declared himself “the global handball king” and challenged anyone “looking for a handball championship game” to contact his office.

“G’day, it’s Kevin Rudd here — the global handball king,” Rudd announces in the video, which shows him sitting at his desk with a pile of handballs arranged neatly in front of him.

“Guess what guys? Come the end of August, having overcome the problems of my knee surgery, I’m re-entering the field. So any of you guys who are looking for a handball championship game, I’m available — let my office know through direct message.”

If you’re wondering what Kevin Rudd has to do with handball (or “downball”, if you’re Victorian and also wrong), and why he’s “re-entering” the field, let us remind you of the existence of this classic video of Rudd trying way too hard to destroy some random schoolkids in a game of handball back in the day.

As you can see, Rudd is indisputably the handball king. As gifted wordsmith and Guardian journalist Naaman Zhou put it, “Rudd’s technique is unconventional but still beautiful, a kind of whole-body followthrough, where his entire being ripples with the effort”. If you can’t get enough of it, here’s another video of the former PM in action.

Anyway, it looks like there’s going to be plenty more videos of Rudd’s handball prowess coming our way in future. “In the meantime,” Rudd says, “if you want a handball signed by the global champion himself, then send in a direct message as well.”

He then signs off the video with a deeply ominous message: “Be very good, and get ready…to die.” Watch Rudd’s challenge below…if you dare.