Everybody Stand Down: That “I’m Lonely” Keanu Reeves Interview Has Turned Out To Be Fake

But we're still available if he's interested.

Keanu Reeves in Ali Wong romantic comedy Always Be My Maybe

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Last week, news broke that John Wick star and all-around perfect person Keanu Reeves was lonely, desperate for a partner.

Allegedly asked about his romantic life, Reeves responded by saying he was single. “You know, I’m the lonely guy,” he was reported to have said. “I don’t have anyone in my life. But if it does occur, I would respect and love the other person; hopefully it’ll happen for me.”

The internet being the internet, within moments of the interview going live on Star2, hundreds of thousands of punters offered Reeves their time, love and yes, their bodies. After all, over the last few years, the Matrix star has become something of an online mascot. Along with Jeff Goldblum and Danny DeVito, he has risen above his own movies to become an icon, a new hero of a world desperately in need of sensitive, intelligent and funny men.

But although the wave of proposals was heartwarming, there was something deeply upsetting about the story.

Reeves has lived a life marked, now and then, by tragedy — he lost his ex-partner a few short weeks after their relationship ended, for instance — and it was unpleasant to imagine that such a seemingly nice man could have so many distinctly not-nice things happen to him.

Well, never fear internet: as you might have guessed from all the “allegedlys” at the top of this story, according to the actor’s reps, the interview was a total fabrication.

This interview did not happen,” the rep told the press. “This was pieced together from several interviews and the majority of these questions were not asked nor answered. They are fabricated.”

So there you have it: you can still hold on hope that Neo himself is out there, living out his romantic life without a care in the entire world.