Jeff Bezos Flew A Giant Dick-Shaped Rocket Into Space And The Memes Are Out Of This World
"Jeff Bezos was in space for 5 minutes – or as it's known at the Amazon warehouse, your allotted break time for a 16-hour day."
Late last night, Jeff Bezos flew into space in a giant dick-shaped rocket.
The world’s richest man managed to shoot into space for a total of 10 minutes and 19 seconds with the help his own private aerospace company, Blue Origin.
Following in the footsteps of billionaire Richard Branson — who flew his Virgin Galatic plane into space just over a week ago — Jeff Bezos managed to make it to the edge of space inside a capsule lifted by the New Shepard rocket. Unfortunately for the Amazon founder, the round capsule that sat on top of the long cylindrical rocket looked just like a giant penis.
All four passengers in the dick rocket survived the journey and safely landed in West Texas desert on their return from space. Once on the ground, Jeff Bezos confirmed he was unharmed during his brief journey into space.
“I am unbelievably good,” the billionaire said after the flight. “Best. Day. Ever.”
— ABC News (@ABC) July 20, 2021
Aboard the dick-shaped ship with Bezos was his brother Mark, 82-year-old trailblazing aviation pilot Mary ‘Wally’ Funk, and 18-year-old student Oliver Daemen, whose father bid millions for the seat.
This four-person flight crew managed to break the records for the oldest, youngest, and richest person to make it past the Kármán line space boundary. The flight also unofficially broke the record for most privileged child and luckiest brother making it into space, too.
However, while Bezos achieved a whole lot of firsts with his space journey all anyone could really focus on was the perfect metaphor of a dickhead billionaire riding a giant dick into space.
As expected, the billionaire’s short flight was meme-ed to the moon and back as people poked fun at Jeff Bezos’ dick rocket, his short flight time, his clear post-divorce mid-life crisis, and the Amazon founder’s impressive ability to avoid paying fair income tax at all costs.
So, here are all the best memes about Jeff Bezos’ space trip:
hard to imagine a better divorce outcome than getting 50 billion dollars and then your ex literally leaves the planet
— muscle skoals (@MuscleSkoals) July 19, 2021
you're telling me this guy is recently divorced? pic.twitter.com/4kFiJ8uxHf
— Michael Pielocik (@michaelpielocik) July 20, 2021
sure flying to space is cool but have you ever tried paying income tax
— Liz Plank (@feministabulous) July 20, 2021
Jeff Bezos was in space for 5 minutes—or as its known at the Amazon warehouse, your allotted break time for a 16-hour day
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) July 20, 2021
My Dad got to watch Armstrong walk on the moon.
I get to watch the guy who killed bookstores ride a dick into space. pic.twitter.com/Tv2sL6SKMN
— Will Noonan (@willnoonan) July 20, 2021
if you close your eyes and press on them, that's what space looks like and you've saved yourself millions of dollars
— beth (@bethbourdon) July 20, 2021
— RJ Dralle (@rjdralle) July 20, 2021
jeff bezos didn’t even go to space! he just got super high which nobody congratulates me for??
— Lauren Chanel (@MichelleHux) July 20, 2021
RT if it feels good pic.twitter.com/9nD5812lcN
— Eric Allen Hatch (@ericallenhatch) July 20, 2021
Quick! Everyone in the warehouse use the bathroom!
— Mike Scollins (@mikescollins) July 20, 2021
— Andrew Joyce (@AndrewPaulJoyce) July 20, 2021
You know what’s cooler than going to space? Paying your employees a living wage.
— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) July 20, 2021
Congrats to Jeff Bezos on his successful rocket launch. And also for totally not overcompensating for something pic.twitter.com/fI3OMxiaVQ
— Big Cat (@BarstoolBigCat) July 20, 2021
Quick, Jeff Bezos is in space, unionise Amazon.
— David Milner (@DaveMilbo) July 20, 2021
Space bout to get fucked pic.twitter.com/z2NCBxQK8l
— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) July 20, 2021
when your ex needs to go to space about it, you won the divorce
— mothman festival queen (@amyis_trying) July 20, 2021
they have to say human because of scrooge mcduck pic.twitter.com/BQmsz4Ps7r
— Ben Rosen (@ben_rosen) July 20, 2021
when jeff bezos comes back to earth let’s all pretend we don’t know who he is
— elijah. (@realaccountyeah) July 20, 2021