Jacqui Lambie Jokes That The Greens Are Just Like ISIS, Surprising Absolutely Nobody At This Point

Tasmanian politicians are just having an absolute ripper of a week so far. Liberal Senator Eric Abetz went badly off-script due to a wiring error a few days ago and brought out the old “marriage equality will lead to legalised polygamy” chestnut, raising the terrifying prospect that yet another aspect of existence that’s none of his damn business might turn out not to his liking. Considering he looks like the Terminator’s racist uncle, though, it’s probably a blessing he didn’t publicly call for gay people to prove their seriousness about this whole “marriage” business in the fighting pits like we did back in the day.

But never content to let someone else hog the honour of being Australia’s Most Embarrassing Public Figure for too long, independent Senator and noted expert on Islamic law Jacqui Lambie has stolen the show with an absolute pearler of a joke delivered at a mining and energy conference this morning:

“What is the difference between the Greens and ISIS?”

Massive set-up for a joke right there. High expectations from the crowd. Virtually impossible to screw up, but a punchline’s everything in the comedy game. Bring it home, Jacqui.

“Not much – they both want to take us back to the Dark Ages.”

OHHHHHHH, SHIIIIIIIIII —

 SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT ‘CAUSE SOMEBODY JUST GOT BURNED AAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Gotta love a joke that equates concern for the environment with a bunch of people who behead hostages on camera. Comedy 101, right there.

Just in case the punchline wasn’t clear enough, Lambie then took the time to explain it, as all great comedians do: “The people from the UN would be better off listening to the average person from northwest Tasmania than the environmental zealots and alarmists like the Wilderness Society’s Vica Bayley, who will never be satisfied until we’re all living in caves, burning candles and eating tofu.”

To put this laugh riot in context, Lambie was speaking of the efforts of Tasmanian conservationists to preserve large tracts of forest by designating them as protected areas, a practice Lambie believes is crippling the Tasmanian economy and denying people much-needed work in a state with a history of high unemployment. There’s a lot of bad blood between environmentalists and industry in Tasmania, with each side blaming the other for ruining the state after decades of conflict over wilderness areas.

To counter this unhappy state of affairs Lambie called on Tasmania to revive its mining and logging industries, asking attendees to “imagine how many Tasmanian families could work their way out of poverty if our wilderness areas were opened up to sensitive development.” Agree with that idea or not, it’s eminently sensible compared to her other thought bubble that Tasmania should embrace uranium as an energy source, saying “if you use it safely we could become the next Saudi Arabia.” Which is kind of an apt descriptor, given that cutting all the trees down eventually turns a place into a fucking desert.

Hopefully someone got footage of that rip-roaring speech; it’s been a while since someone’s cut a video of her saying blindingly stupid stuff into a Ghostbusters reel.