Some Evil Genius Made The Internet Think There’s A Quibi Show About Jack Sparrow Impersonators
Anything is possible in the defunct Quibi universe – and honestly, I'd watch it.
In October, optimised streaming platform, Quibi, announced that they would be shutting down after only six months since their launch.
Sadly, despite raising $1.75 billion dollars from investors and creating shows with a bunch of A-list stars, Quibi just couldn’t reach the necessary subscriber targets or find a buyer for the platform. But in Quibi’s short-lived existence, they produced some real doozies.
In fact, Quibi built its brand on outlandish short-form shows that really couldn’t exist anywhere else.
Take 50 States of Fright, for example, which was literally a show about a woman, played by Emmy-winner Rachel Brosnahan, who had a golden arm and “pulmonary gold disease”, yet refused to part with the metal appendage that was literally killing her.
Or there’s Chrissy’s Court, a small-claims court show, where cases are randomly heard by Chrissy Teigen with her mum acting as the bailiff, for reasons unknown. And how can anyone forget about Dummy? Anna Kendrick’s 10-episode sex doll show.
Basically, Quibi made shows that were so ridiculous, they were kinda iconic.
Make fun of it all you want, but Quibi's Golden Arm wound up being a parable for Quibi's entire business.pic.twitter.com/KRm0aA7XX0
— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) October 21, 2020
So really it should be no surprise that the internet is being fooled by an evil genius who created a fake show called Jack Sparrow House.
Creating an entire Wikipedia page for the entirely made-up show, Jack Sparrow House, as the name suggests, allegedly featured fourteen Jack Sparrow impersonators battling it out to see who amongst them was the best version of the Pirates Of The Caribbean character.
readin up on quibi pic.twitter.com/m8xCLx6elb
— rory strahan-mauk (@rorystrahanmauk) November 30, 2020
The now-deleted Wikipedia page explained that the show worked by a Jack Sparrow impersonator being evicted from the house if they ever broke character. The entry also reported that three of the contestants were actually kicked off the show for public defecation, while another hand to withdraw from the show after learning the house was too close to an elementary school.
To make the page sound even more believable, the anonymous Jack Sparrow House creator (who is probably the comedian above, who tweeted the Wikipedia entry in the first place) even linked back out to “articles” and attributed fake quotes to Quibi’s Head of Content and Head of Brand and Marketing.
Quoting two people who actually did work at the streaming platform, Jack Sparrow House was allegedly “more of an endurance contest than a true talent competition” and “the source of a significant amount of litigation”.
And while all so incredibly ridiculous sounding, truly anything is possibly on Quibi, which is why so many people were convinced a house full of fourteen Jack Sparrow impersonators could be a very real thing.
I am pretty sure I would fail a "Quibi show or 30 Rock joke" quiz resoundinglyhttps://t.co/AMsTMkYsPv
— Zack Budryk (@BudrykZack) November 30, 2020
i have changed my mind about quibi https://t.co/7Mt7NMgQoj
— Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans) (@IwriteOK) November 30, 2020
Sadly for us, Jack Sparrow House is not real.
As Snopes reports, there is no evidence of the show being on Quibi’s program list or on Wikipedia. And that iconic image on Wikipedia of all the fake Jack Sparrows? Well, that’s a pic of avid Pirates fans from the Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man Tell No Tales premiere in Tokyo back in 2017.
But despite Jack Sparrow House not being real, people reckon that perhaps a show like this would be what could’ve saved Quibi from death.
if this were real quibi would still be around
— it is now my duty to completely drain you (@kickber) November 30, 2020
society if Jack Sparrow House was real pic.twitter.com/SuhZ5ABrOA
— claude (catboy) ✰ (@utasbf) November 30, 2020
But now I guess we will never know… unless… Netflix wants to help make our Pirates of the Carribbean dreams come true. Please Netflix. WE NEED IT.