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Please Watch These Two Giant Kiwifruits Sadly Dance In Front Of Jacinda Ardern

“While they thankfully didn’t make me dance, they did hold my hand.”

Jacinda Kiwifruits

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In a scene only David Lynch could conjure up, Jacinda Ardern was presented with the performance of a lifetime by a pair of sad, dancing kiwifruits.

The New Zealand Prime Minister was greeted by the solemnly beautiful affair in Japan during her first diplomatic overseas trip since COVID started. After a stop in Singapore, Ardern made her way across the sea to Tokyo, where she helped welcome the start of kiwi season in the country by attending an event organised by Big Kiwi marketer Zespri last Thursday.

The two mascots swayed with dead eyes, mouths aghast in juicy resignation, to the sound of a live violin and piano playing ‘Kōjō no Tsuki‘– a song commonly taught in childrens’ music classes.

It’s one of those videos that stay with you for years, leaving more questions asked than answered. Why are they trapped outside and forced to look into a room just out of reach? Will they ever find happiness in such a cruel, cruel world?

Political reporter at Stuff Henry Cooke told The Guardian that the performance was “especially touching when the music got sadder, and the mascots’ dancing changed with it”.

The viral clip has predictably drawn massive attention to Zespri as a company, with people around the world now discovering the lore of the green and gold kings, who boast their own YouTube channel getting up to silly little adventures with their fruity friends.

Ardern had a kiwi-filled day, participating in a calligraphy activity to spell out the word, as well as watching a cake decorating challenge.

“The kiwi brothers I particularly remember,” said Ardern of her second encounter with the fuzzy duo after two years of being held apart. “While they thankfully didn’t make me dance, they did hold my hand.”