How Do Intimacy Coordinators Make Sex Look Sexy?

Who doesn’t love a steamy, well-choreographed sex scene between our favourite on-screen hotties? But those perfectly timed pashes and well-placed hands aren’t just a result of natural chemistry.

It’s all thanks to an intimacy coordinator.

What Is An Intimacy Coordinator?

“I’ve been an acting coach for a couple decades now,” said Kristy Sexton, an intimacy coordinator with over 25 years of experience in film and TV, including 2014’s Aquaman and Amazon Prime’s The Wilds.

“When I was working with my higher level clients, a lot of times they would ask me to come to set and it was specifically for intimacy scenes.”

Intimate scenes need to be choreographed just like fight scenes would be, which means intimacy coordinators are kind of like raunchy stunt coordinators.

“If I were having to handle weaponry or doing a fight scene where I kill somebody, I would be a little nervous too making sure that I did it and didn’t do anything wrong,” Sexton told Junkee. “So it’s kind of the same deal.”

What Does An Intimacy Coordinator Actually Do On Set?

An intimacy coordinator is there on set to make sure that the director’s vision for an intimate scene is carried out properly. But what does that actually look like?

“When I’m working on a production, I’m a firm believer in hard prep. A lot of it should already be done by the time I step on set,” Ruth Natalie Fallon told Junkee. Fallon also has a background in movie stunts, most recently as the stunt group leader on Marvel’s Thor: Love and Thunder. She explained that her move into intimacy coordination felt like a natural progression. And like stunt training, it involves a lot of preparation work.

“Before I get on set, they should already have been conversation after conversation, meeting after meeting, to assess what it is we’re actually doing there in the first place on that day on set. 

And then when I am there, it’s really just about executing what we’ve already put in place.”

Although all productions are different, intimate scenes are usually limited to a small number of necessary crew members as part of a closed set. Actors can request a closed set when there’s any nudity or intimacy on set. Most video monitors are switched off and the only ones watching are the ones who absolutely need to.

“It’s really interesting because people think it’s like 250 members of the crew all sitting there watching you go at it. And it’s really not like that,” explained Sexton.

“I would say most of the crew does not wanna be there during a closed set… Usually the crew loves to close it cause they can go off to the side, get some stuff done. Nobody wants to perve.”

It’s All About Consent

Even though every production can tackle intimate scenes completely differently, the crucial part is always open communication and consent. Actors can even request that the intimacy coordinator takes a backseat if they feel like they’re comfortable without them, especially since most of the work happens before they actually get on set.

“I think I have spent 12 hours locked in a room in a tiny room with performers doing sex scenes and with a director just working and figuring this out and the shots and the manoeuvring in the bodies,” said Fallon. “And then I have also spent 12 hours sitting in craft services because I was not required.”

“If we do the work ahead of time and kind of get in there ahead of time, what it looks like on set is regular shooting with just some extra intimacy involved,” Sexton added.

“Everyone’s having a lovely safe time and having fun.”