How To Break Up With A Fuckboy
A New Year's resolution worth sticking to.
You’ve been warned, you know better, but you can’t help but go home with them at the end of the night. Then they deliver the “let’s be friends” spiel and, even though you know they’re full of it and just wanting to keep you around in case, you go along with it anyway.
Yep, we can all agree fuckboys are the worst. If they think they can just screw you over then you need to kick that as far out of your life as you possibly can, because a little trip to the adult store is better than keeping that shit in your life. Without further ado, here’s a short course in Fuckboys Anonymous™ to help get rid of that fuckboy once and for all.
Go Cold Turkey
A practice used in kicking many sorts of addictions, the harsh way is sometimes the most effective. Rip off the proverbial band aid and do what you need to do to ensure you don’t talk to them again. Erase their number, delete them off all your socials, block them if you have to – burn any and all evidence of their existence. Out of sight, out of mind. It will also ensure you don’t drink and dial.
Thanks Sean Paul. This is particularly important in the phase immediately following cutting of communication to avoid feelings of loneliness and transitory regret (we promise you will not regret this later).
Book in lunch dates with friends, accept all the shifts at work you can, mingle (ahem) with different people when you’re out at night. It’s all about distraction and showing yourself how great life is without them. Don’t cry because it happened. Smile because it’s finally over (this quote was loosely interpreted).
Hold A Wine & Whine Sesh
Sometimes, it’s a little terrifying and/or humiliating to admit but you may have felt an inkling of something for this person. Like, nothing full-blown or anything, but, you know, just a hint of the feels.
Even though you weren’t in a relationship with the fuckboi, you’re more than allowed to vent about the way you were treated. Get together for some whining over a bottle of wine with some friends and get it all out – you’ll find they also have some opinions about your ex-fuckboi that they’ve wanted to get off their chests.
Shout Your New Mantra From The Rooftops
They say one of the best ways to stick to a fitness regime is to do it with a buddy so there’s someone else out there holding you accountable to your new resolution. When you decide to get rid of them don’t be shy at all in advertising it. Tell your friends you’re not going to subject yourself to that kind of treatment again; if you ever do you’ll have to face the wrath and disappointment of everyone around you.
It’s like Barney Stinson said that one time in How I Met Your Mother when he was trying to pick up chicks, “If you want better, you do better”.
Thou Shall Spend Some Time Alone
The natural human response in times like these is to find someone else to distract ourselves with and replace our old problems with new ones. For the time being, try and stay away from anything remotely serious with someone.
Spend some time alone to re-centre, listen to Dua Lipa’s ‘New Rules’ and remind yourself every morning that you wake up that you are a beautiful, independent butterfly who don’t need to be chasing any form of fuckboi.
Grace Potter studies Communications & Media at the University of Wollongong and is an avid fan of Harry Potter and coffee.