How My Relationship Survived The Transition From High School To Uni
It’s not easy moving from high school to university, and it’s not easy to carry your relationships across either.
It’s not easy moving from high school to university, and it’s not easy to carry your relationships across either. Sometimes all the changes are so overwhelming that we lose touch with people we once really cared about.
I’m now in my third year of uni and am still dating my high school boyfriend. No one really expects high school relationships to last forever; it’s a miracle if they can survive schoolies alone. That being said, not all relationships are doomed to fail once graduation is over.
Put The Effort In
Any relationship requires both people to actively engage in it. You can’t just sit back and expect the other person to always come to you. I used to be that person who waited around for my boyfriend to take me on dates instead of putting in some effort too until I realised just how draining that was for him.
A one-sided relationship is exhausting to maintain and will eventually disintegrate. Make sure you’re putting in effort to start conversations and organise hang outs and date nights.
Be Your Own Person
High school couples can often be joined at the hip, and this can be detrimental to their friendships. You’re not just one half of a couple and you don’t have to do everything based on what your partner is doing.
Don’t feel guilty about wanting to spend time with your friends, and don’t feel jealous when your partner spends time with theirs. Don’t feel pressured to have the all the same friends either. You both do you, boo!
Don’t Grow Up Too Quickly
Graduating high school doesn’t make you a fully-fledged adult, even though you may feel like one. So many couples from my high school immediately moved in together and broke up within a year of leaving school.
Take it easy and just appreciate spending time together. Enjoy all the little milestones of a relationship without desperately reaching for the major ones.
Call Them Out When They’re Upsetting You
It’s typical of teenagers to bottle up their feelings until they physically can’t hold them in anymore. I know I have been guilty of putting my boyfriend through an unnecessary emotional explosion (or 10).
Be comfortable to speak out when you’re upset with your partner, even if it’s over something as insignificant as them watching new Game Of Thrones without you. You don’t deserve to be made to feel inferior and they might not even realise they’re upsetting you.
Acknowledge When You’re In The Wrong
When you just start out in the dating game, it’s easy to want to play the victim and blame your partner for everything going wrong in your relationship. But sometimes, you’re the one who messes up.
Learn to admit your mistakes, apologise, and move on. Otherwise, you could get stuck in an endless cycle of bickering that will tarnish your relationship.
Don’t Just Be A Couple, Be Mates As Well
It’s not uncommon for people in high school to date someone for their looks instead of their personality. My boyfriend and I were friends before we started dating, so we already knew each another pretty well. This meant we felt comfortable with each other and didn’t have to learn everything from scratch during our relationship.
If you can’t see yourself being friends with your partner, then why would you want to date them in the first place? The honeymoon phase passes with every relationship, and it’s not going to be fun realising your partner isn’t who you thought they were.
Emily Steinhardt is currently studying Journalism and Communications at University of Queensland. She’s a Disney enthusiast who enjoys going out for brunch, taking photos of dogs and a good G&T.
(Lead image: The OC/Warner Bros)