Healthy Harold Has Been Recruited To Teach Politicians About Sex

Meet "Horny Harold".

The Feed Bonk Ban

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In the wake of the Barnaby Joyce affair, government ministers have been forbidden from fucking their staff. Seems like a sensible rule, to be honest. Or rather, it seems like a sensible rule in light of the fact that our elected representatives can’t be trusted not to act like a pack of horny teens.

In any case, to make sure everyone is abiding by the bonk ban The Feed has enlisted Life Education icon Healthy Harold for a little bit of remedial sex-ed.

“I’m glad Malcolm asked me for help,” says Harold, played by Mark Humphries. “Quite frankly, if we don’t do something soon I think you’ll switch on Question Time one day and see a human centipede.”

“I’m used to dealing with horny teenagers, but government ministers? They’re just feral,” he adds.

The giraffe goes on to tell his new pupils that voters think they’re all “a bunch of wankers”.

“For the love of god, please prove them right,” he begs.

Still, it’s not all bad for the government. As Harold explains, “under the sex ban, you are still allowed to be in bed with big business”.

“Remember, you’re politicians,” the beloved educator concludes. “The only people you should be screwing are the Australian public.”