Happy Easter Malcolm! Tony Abbott Is Sharing His Opinions About The Government Again
Tony Abbott is so sick of hearing that Malcolm Turnbull should get the sack. So sick of it you guys.
Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott doesn’t want to wreck or white-ant. Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott just wants to help. In fact, he wants to help so much that he’s penned an editorial in the papers of old mate Rupert Murdoch explaining that voters hate the government and that Bill Shorten is probably going to win the next election.
Describing conversations he had with people in “Middle Australia” while cycling from town to town as part of an annual charity bike ride, Abbott says that he found “an added dimension of frustration with everyone in politics: with governments that don’t deliver, with oppositions that oppose just to score political points, and with minor parties that are all grievance and no solution.”
Abbott goes on to write that “people are sick of politicians who are more talk than action and are especially sick of politicians who change their policies to suit their political convenience.” He also surmises that, the way things are going, “there was an expectation [among voters] that Shorten could soon be in the Lodge.”
Abbott says voters he speaks to think Shorten will be PM soon. As opposed to when he was PM and they were certain #auspol pic.twitter.com/PKLMezFIjR
— ralph johnston (@ralphjohnston7) April 16, 2017
Don’t get Tony wrong though, he’s no commie lesbian latte-sipping Labor voter. “Labor is at least as responsible for our problems as the current government,” Abbott explains. “People are disappointed with the government but there’s little enthusiasm for Bill Shorten either, or for his union-controlled, Greens-influenced Labor Party.”
He’d also like people to stop talking about giving the current PM the flick. “The best way to keep Shorten out is not to sack an elected prime minister yet again but to ensure that the government does its job better,” Abbott says. Like seriously guys, stop bringing it up. Everybody please stop talking about ditching Malcolm Turnbull. Tony Abbott is really tired of hearing about how Malcolm Turnbull should be fired.
Finally, it wouldn’t be an Abbott epistle without a few choice political slogans. “The debt and deficit disaster” makes its long awaited comeback, as does “Team Australia”. Look, the classics are classics for a reason.
The suppository of all wisdom.
I’ve got to be honest though: the way Tony spins it, things aren’t looking too crash hot for the government. If only somebody had a plan to “get Australia working again.” Someone like, say, a widely despised ex-PM who has spent the past year and a half licking his eyeballs on the backbench. For example.
Funnily enough, now that you mention it, Tony actually has a couple of ideas himself. “Reform the Senate so we have government, not gridlock,” he suggests. “Stop subsidising new wind power to take the pressure off power prices. De-fund the nanny-state bureaucracies that persecute journalists but do nothing about Muslim extremists. Protect existing beneficiaries and existing employees but make it easier for future generations to get work. And don’t apologise for Australia; celebrate it.”
Thank God for Tony Abbott, man of the people. He’s got his finger on the pulse. He understands the issues that really matter to everyday Australians. Issues like ensuring old white men in tabloid newspapers have the right to say whatever they like without fear of repercussion.
No need to thank him, Malcolm! He’s just doing his job, hanging around and subtly undermining the government in the national press. Sorry, not undermining. Supporting. Subtly supporting.
Of course the last time Abbott started running his mouth off about how the government should operate, he copped an almighty whack from members of his own team, including former conservative allies. “It was deliberately destructive,” said Finance Minister Matthias Cormann. “It was quite self indulgent, and I think it is very sad that Tony Abbott has chosen to go down this path.
Still, it’ll take more than that to stop Tony Abbott from being helpful. He’s going to help this government whether they want him to or not.
