Hannibal Buress Savaged The Lockout Laws In His Sydney Show Last Night

Yesterday, at exactly 1.06am, US comedian and Broad City star Hannibal Buress tweeted this:

Hey Sydney, who did this? This shit sucks.

— Hannibal Buress (@hannibalburess) November 30, 2016

Though it seemed likely he was talking about lockout laws, there were still a few options. He could have been told about Sydney rental prices. He could have found out his favourite bar or venue had been turned into a $20 juice bar or yoga studio. He could have been accosted by a horde of rouge mud-drenched Ibises on the way back to his hotel. (I’m gonna move on, but if you’d like me to list more ways Sydney is terrible, let’s DM).

But Buress has now set the record straight. At his stand-up show at the Enmore Theatre last night — the first of his national tour — the comedian laid into the laws, calling them “insane”.

“The lockout laws — I didn’t even know about that shit until a couple of days ago,” he said. “That shit sucks. Really put a damper on that Sydney versus Melbourne debate. You’ve been losing that one for awhile. ‘Oh, our beaches’… yeah, but there’s a weird drinking thing and it sucks. That shit is insane.”

He then told a story about leaving one bar for another and being stopped by a weirdly intrusive bouncer. “I’ve been in nightlife for 14 years, he asked me some shit I’ve never heard a bouncer say. He was like, ‘where were you guys before this?’ ‘What? Dad?’. ‘WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?’ ‘Who is this guy?'”

No offers came through for @djburgerfeet1. #KeepSydneyOpen https://t.co/DrnzBiGcin

— Hannibal Buress (@hannibalburess) December 1, 2016

“So what is the reason for it? Let me guess: it’s because some people can’t handle their liquor, so everyone can’t get drunk too late. What happened? Some people got punched too hard and they died? Well, people dying, that’s the cost of doing business, baby. Sometimes people die! Why can’t I hang out late because some people died? Some people get AIDS; I’m supposed to stop fucking? No. You’re supposed to wear your helmet.”

Pedestrian captured the whole thing on video:

It’s usually incredibly cringeworthy when comedians try to shoehorn in some local gags for international shows. “Tasmanians are weird!”, “Hey Melbourne, you’re cooler than Sydney!” etc etc etc. They’re trying to get in on an old joke they’re not really part of. But these jokes from Hannibal are kind of doing the opposite.

I think we can all use an outsider’s perspective every so often on the dumb shit that goes on in this country.

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Hannibal Buress’ show The Hannibal Montanabal Experience is in Melbourne tonight, then heading to Perth and Brisbane.