Sorry But Getting Set Up Is Way Better Than Going On Dating Apps
Bring the set up back.
Here’s the thing ladies and gentlemen: getting set up is good. Not embarrassing, or cringeworthy, but actually a very valuable way to meet a person and connect with them. In fact, it’s a hell of a lot better than meeting someone online.
Yet for some reason, it gets a really bad wrap. Sure, you don’t have the comfort of sitting at home and texting them in your PJs before you meet them, but you do get a guaranteed first date. And that’s a hell of a lot more than Bryce with the “shakas” in his Tinder bio can offer you.
We hereby declare that we want to bring the set up back.
#1 The Jam Theory
You know that whole study about the jam in the supermarket? Where if consumers are given a large variety of different brands of jam, they’re less likely to pick one than if they’re given a few options?
The same theory must apply to dating. If you’re swiping through hundreds of people, you’ll be overwhelmed with choice and way less inclined to start up a conversation with someone. But if your friend gives you one person to meet? Way less choice, confusion and anxiety. They’ll be the correct jam.
#2 You Have Someone In Common
The worst part about meeting a stranger is stressing over what you’ll talk about. But when you both know the same person, you have an automatic conversation starter. (“How do you know Claire?” “How do YOU know Claire?” etc, etc.)
Behavioural scientist Christie Hartman told Women’s Health, “You’re already a step ahead because you know someone in common. This is why meeting through friends is still one of the most common ways couples meet.”
#3 You Know They’re Not A Creep
In an article titled ‘Why Won’t Any Of My Friends Set Me Up?’, Maria Del Russo wrote that getting set up by friends is confirmation that the person you’re gonna meet is safe to be around. “It’s like you get the preinterview out of the way before you’ve even met the person,” she says. “They’ve been vetted by someone who knows you, meaning there’s a better chance that they’re (a) normal, and (b) maybe even compatible with you.”
She continued, “A setup, in other words, is basically insurance against a terrible date.” We like those odds.
#4 It Doesn’t Have To Be One-On-One
It’s kind of weird to ask a Tinder date to come on a group hang. Like, it’s not unheard of, but it would be pretty uncomfortable. Yet group hangs are WAY less pressure than one-on-one dates, and WAY more fun.
The best part about getting set up is that it can happen in a group setting, with your mutual friend and a couple of other people. If it fizzles out, you can just keep hanging out with your mates and enjoy the rest of your night. Nothing gained, nothing lost.
#5 And It Doesn’t HAVE To Be Weird
People think that if you’re set up with a friend-of-a-friend, it’s gonna get weird if it didn’t work out and you see them at another social event. Like, look, maybe it will feel uncomfortable for a while, but that’s on you. You’re both adults, so there’s no reason why you can’t just move on and be civil to each other.
What are you waiting for? Text your friend and ask if they know any single people. Get set the eff up!
(Lead image: Set It Up/Netflix)