All The Funniest Times That Gender Reveal Parties Went Hilariously, Horrifyingly Wrong
My gender is pure chaos!
I’m not being heterophobic when I say that straight people’s customs can be confusing and strange. Some of my best friends are straight! But I cannot and will not get on board with the absolutely baffling trend of gender reveal parties.
For the uninitiated, a gender reveal party is when two expecting parents (of a human child) throw a party to reveal the gender of said child, despite that fact that gender is a social construct.
The general structure of these parties is that something — a box, a cake, a pinäta — will be busted open to reveal something blue or pink. As the ancient superstition goes, pink means girl and blue means boy. They’re bafflingly popular, and will often feature baseballs full of coloured powder or elaborate drums. I mean honestly.
But luckily for us, things often go weird and wrong with these reveal parties. Let’s take a look at the worst (read: accidentally best) of them, and laugh, laugh, laugh:
The Terrifyingly Large Frat Baby
Congratulations! You’re having an annoying dickhead.
What a weight of expectation on this small gestating foetus, that it will emerge from the womb dancing in an aggressive and terrifying manner, that its first words will be “keg stand”, that it will not only be a boy, it will be a horrible man-boy. Who DOES this? What do they want from their life. God I hate this so much.
Why this gender reveal got me in tears. 😂 pic.twitter.com/apNGDthhaC
— Princess Emperious (@Emperious_) September 7, 2018
The Exploding Fireworks Reveal
My gender is pure chaos! Probably the best gender reveal party of them all, it features fireworks being shot at everyone.
“It’s a boy” you hear them yell, before the fireworks turn on the attendees, and everything turns into screams of horror and pain.
Katy Perry voice: “Your baby is a firework!”
Fierce Gender Activist With A Sword
The kid with the sword is the real hero here. Some say he travels the country, interrupting gender reveal parties and popping balloons willy-nilly.
Such A Good Binary Hating Dog
In this couple’s defence, they seem DELIGHTED by the fact that their dog lets the outdated notion of gender fly away forever. Such a good dog.
Death To Grandpa
This is gonna be some ancient Greek shit, where the new boy will be destined to kill his grandfather.
What Even Is This?
Weird gender balloons flying away is pretty standard by now, but I’m just so confused by this whole setup. Is this lacrosse? Why did they think this would work? Is the guy who yells “get the gun” serious?
Sad Balloon Mixup
The conceit of this video is that either blue or pink balloons were meant to come out of the box. However, instead they got a rainbow. Sorry — you got a queer kid. It’s the rules.
Queensland’s Exploding Car Expelling Blue Smoke
What better way to reveal your baby’s a boy than with some sick burnouts with your Nissan sedan? The old mates injected the tires with blue dye, but then the car burst into flame, as the baby’s true gender is chaos.