Let Us Pull You Close And Whisper ‘G’Day Mate’ With This Series Of Excellent Tweets

Just some true blue, fair dinkum sexting.

Andrew Broad allegedly used "g'day mate" in a sext and wow.

G’day mates. If you didn’t just shudder with pleasure and/or revulsion, you’re clearly not up to speed on the latest in Australian politics. Let us help you with that.

As you may or may not know, this morning a government minister named Andrew Broad resigned from his position after a woman claiming to be his sugar baby came forward with some disturbing allegations.

One of the more disturbing things she provided to New Idea was a screenshot of messages allegedly sent by Andrew Broad to her, which appear to be an attempt to sext…in Australian. Specifically, if the screenshots are to be believed, Andrew Broad messaged this poor woman to let her know “I’m a country guy so I know how to fly a plane, ride a horse, fuck my woman”.

After receiving confirmation that the woman he was sexting did indeed find Aussie accents sexy, he then continued with: “I pull you close, run my strong hands down your back, softly kiss your neck and whisper ‘Gday mate'”. If you’re reading this for the first time, sorry.

Anyway, while the phrase “g’day mate” is now cancelled in everyday conversation, the upside of this whole debacle is a real uptick in real fair dinkum erotica on Twitter dot com (where else?).

So if you’ve been stuck on how to phrase a sext to someone whose idea of Australian culture is gleaned entirely from that one episode of The Good Place (or if you, yourself, are perhaps just deeply moved by the word “g’day”), then gather round and enjoy these works of art.

Okay, sorry for totally ruining the phrase “g’day mate”. At least we’ve still got “fair dinkum”. They’ll never take that from… oh, wait, never mind.